"I'm not...not feelin' right...ah! My rear feels like it's swellin'...oh god, don't judge me, this ain't nothin' you've never seen before, I gotta get these jeans down...ughhh, I feel so strange...my shirt's ridin' up too, somethin' goin' on down in front...urp...what's wrong with me? You see anything funny happenin' with my hindquarters? Be honest..."