Deku's Extraordinary Playlist - Chapter 4

Izuku just stared blankly at the woman as she apologised, bowing low and babbling her regret, almost in tears as she repeated the words over and over. He couldn’t seem to find any words to respond, couldn’t even get his thoughts straight enough to appreciate Tenya for doing it on his behalf, all he could do was… Stare.

“They’re real?” he choked out finally.

“Yes,” she winced. “I’m so sorry. I know it can be hard, hearing things you don’t want to hear from your friends and such. I hope it’s not too awful, at least. There was one boy when I was in middle school who would scream his every thought at the top of his lungs, that one was rough. But I digress, Mister Deku, I really am so sorry. If I could reverse it right now, I would! I promise it will wear off, though. It shouldn’t be more than a few days.”

“Are the thoughts… Relevant? To me?”

She blinked at him, and Izuku grimaced, looking away for a moment as he gathered his thoughts.

“If someone is uh… Thinking… About being… I don’t know, mad at someone? Is it me they’re mad at?”

“That um… Varies. The boy who screamed, he screamed at the person he was thinking about, you know? So if he screamed at me, then yes, he was thinking about me. But if I just hear him screaming at someone else, then no, probably not. Does that help?”

“I think so,” he nodded. “Thank you. I should go, I need to… Talk to a friend.”

“Of course. I’m so sorry again, please feel free to contact me if you have any more questions!”

“Yeah. Thank you.”

“And thank you for helping to save me! I hope you're healing well from that awful fall!”

“My pleasure, I'm doing much better. Thank you.”

Izuku turned to leave without another word, hearing hurried goodbyes and heavy footsteps behind him as Tenya hurried to follow. When the strong hand landed on his shoulder, Izuku flinched, refusing to meet the eyes he knew would be so full of concern.

“Did you hear something bad?” he asked, guiding Izuku to the car. “We can talk about it. Is someone mad at you?”

“I think so.”

“Do you know what for?”

“I have a suspicion.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Izuku sighed, staring at his feet for a minute as he got settled in the car, and Tenya took a minute to climb into the driver’s seat while he waited. He didn’t start the car, though, or make any move to pull out – he just waited, patiently, for Izuku to find the words.

“One of my friends is in love with another of my friends,” he said softly. “And I think he resents me for being so close to that person, since the person doesn’t love him back.”

“Is this person taken?”

“No, he just doesn’t return the feelings.”

“Well, that’s a tough one,” Tenya nodded, patting Izuku on the shoulder again lightly. “But you must be close to this person, and I can’t imagine it’s worth distancing yourself from them because of someone else’s jealousy, right? It’s sad to lose a friend, if it comes to that, but it’s not your fault they resent you.”

“No, I guess not,” Izuku mumbled, leaning over to rest his head on the cold window. “But I thought we were good friends, and I thought they were good friends, too, so to find out that maybe they don’t feel the same way I do is… Sad.”

“I’m sure they feel the same way,” Tenya objected. “If they didn’t, you’d have noticed by now. Maybe they don’t want to feel that way, and it’s just kind of there, right? It might not even be the biggest thing they’re feeling, just something they don’t talk about, so these songs are… Getting it off their chest, right?”

“I guess that makes sense.”

“I’m sure they’ll meet someone else, in their own time, and everything will work out for all of you.”

“Thank you.”

“As long as it’s not Ochako, I won’t stand for anyone else looking at her in that way.”

“You’re so protective,” Izuku laughed faintly, catching a glimpse of a smile from Tenya. “I told you they’re not taken. I mean, maybe emotionally taken or whatever, but not actually taken.”

“Good, I’m glad.”

“I guess I just hoped it wasn’t me that he resented, but if the songs are directed in that way, it… Has to be. And I hate that.”

“I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’ll all be over soon, just hold on a little longer.”

“Yeah,” Izuku nodded. “Thank you for doing all this for me, it can’t have been easy to track her down and arrange a meeting.”

“Anything for you, Izuku. That’s what friends are for.”

Tenya started the car, with Izuku a little more relaxed, and then they were pulling out into a quiet street, buildings and people zipping by in a blur as Izuku watched. It was such a weird concept to wrap his head around, that all these people were having such deep thoughts that they couldn’t or wouldn’t talk about, protecting them so closely that they only came out in the form of a weird musical theatre number for Izuku’s eyes only. He knew there were people who would kill for the ability, who would love to have these little peeks into people’s psyche, but Izuku was not one of them. He felt a weird responsibility to do something about them, even though he knew it was impossible. He couldn’t make Katsuki love Kirishima back, and he certainly couldn’t convince some unknown guy to love Shouto when he already loved his best friend. The best he could do was be there for them, listen to them vent, but when they hadn’t even told him about the problems he couldn’t even do that for them. The only thing he could do right then was pretend it never happened, but he wasn’t sure he was strong enough to manage that.

“Why do you think Shouto sang to me?” he asked quietly, watching Tenya’s knuckles tighten on the steering wheel. “He never told me he liked anyone, so why would he sing to me about it?”

“I’m… Not sure I can answer that, Izuku.”

“You know, don’t you?” he asked quietly. “It’s not that you don’t have the answer, you just don’t think you should tell me.”

Tenya fell silent, and Izuku nodded knowingly, turning his gaze back out the window.

“Why didn’t he just tell me he liked me, Tenya?”

“We suggested it,” he admitted. “He said there was no point, that it might make things awkward between you.”

“I would have considered it. I think it’s too late now, I can’t see him in that way. Maybe I could have, if he’d told me at the start.”

“He always knew you weren’t available.”

He’s in love with his best friend.

“I’m not in love with anyone.”

Tenya didn’t answer, and Izuku gnawed on his lower lip in the silence.

“I’m not,” he repeated, cringing at how whiny it came out. “Shouto said the person who he liked was in love with his best friend. But I’m not in love with anyone.”

“Okay.”

“You don’t believe me.”

“I believe you, Izuku. You’re the only one who can really know and understand your own feelings. If you say you don’t like anyone, I believe you.”

“Thank you.”

“But if you do decide there’s someone you like, or love, I suggest you tell them.”

“Because Shouto didn’t tell me?”

“Because they’re the only one who can know their feelings, too,” Tenya smiled. “You might think one thing about them, when they feel differently.”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “That’s true.”

“I’m glad Ochako got up the nerve to tell me. I was convinced she wouldn’t like me. I thought you were the one she loved.”

“She had a crush on me in first year,” Izuku acknowledged, smiling fondly. “But then we got close, as friends, and it turned into what we have now. Nothing romantic.”

“I know. I appreciate you telling me, though. It’s a little gratifying to know you both have the same story for what happened between you, it’s nice to have confirmation no matter how strongly you believe something.”

When they pulled up outside Izuku’s apartment, he immediately shook his head, stopping Tenya before he could reach his seatbelt.

“Thank you so much for this. You’ll be late for work, though. I can get to my apartment just fine, really.”

“Okay,” Tenya smiled. “It was nice to see you up and about, please take care of yourself.”

“I will!” Izuku assured him. “Thank you again! Let me know how your patrol goes!”

“Of course.”

He stepped out of the car and waved goodbye until Tenya drove off, then dug out his keys to head inside. The elevator felt so slow in its ascent, but he still couldn’t quite face the stairs just yet. Instead he stood in the near-silence of the metal box, the whirring of gears his only company, and watched the little orange light flick up through the numbers.

A faint tune hit him as he stepped out, some neighbour listening to music from inside their apartment – or so he assumed, until he stuck his key in his front door and realised it was growing louder. He was stepping into an apartment currently filled with the soft melody.

“Kacchan?” he asked, when he pinpointed the kitchen as the source. “I wasn’t expecting you so early. Thanks for coming!”

He stepped through the doorway, only for Katsuki to turn and stare him dead in the eyes, his voice ringing out surprisingly sweetly. It wasn’t even close to Katsuki’s taste in music, Izuku knew that for sure, but he sang the words so confidently, as if he’d practiced them every day of his life, or maybe written them himself.

“Kacchan,” he repeated uselessly. “I wish you'd just talk to me about this. I thought maybe I’d imagined it, the first time, but here you are again. Are you singing for me?”

Katsuki’s cheeks flushed pink as he stepped closer, taking Izuku’s hand, and Izuku couldn’t help but blush a little himself as he listened, really listened, to Katsuki sing.

He had such a beautiful voice, it really was a shame Izuku didn’t get to hear it more often.

“I know you’re not listening to me,” he smiled softly. “But I like this song, for us. We make a good team, don’t we? We have something special.”

He’s in love with his best friend.

“Am I in love with you, Kacchan?” he whispered. “Is that what Shouto meant?”

When he really listened, the words made so much more sense to him. The first time Katsuki sang, he’d been so caught up in the absurdity of the situation, but now… Now he knew. Knew that this quirk was something designed to let him hear things he needed to hear. To tell him the things Katsuki didn’t want to say out loud, the things they’d struggled for so long to really put into words for each other.

“Is this what love is?” he asked. “I always thought it would be a big, grand moment where I realised this is it like it was some new thing I’d never felt before. But maybe I’ve always felt it? Just for you, Kacchan. You don’t just have part of my heart, you know I never give you a piece of anything. If Kacchan wants my heart, he can have it. And I’ll give it gladly.”

Katsuki pulled him in closer, like maybe the words were getting through on some level, and Izuku giggled to himself as Katsuki spun him around the room, smiling so sweetly at him as he sang.

“I like this side of you, Kacchan,” he teased. “I wish you knew you were doing it, though. It would be nice for Kacchan to hear me answer, to hear me say I feel the same way about you. But I’ll be patient, Kacchan, just like you have been. It took me a long time to figure it all out, huh? My friends were all a thousand steps ahead of me.”

Izuku wasn’t sure where things would go in another minute, when the quirk stopped doing its thing and Katsuki returned to normal, but he would treasure that moment forever, no matter what. Holding Katsuki in his arms, feeling their hearts beat in time where their chests pressed together, listening to the voice he’d always loved so much tell him that they would solve all their problems together, that they’d be together forever, even grow old together, was the greatest moment of his entire life so far. Just that one word together meant so much, made up for all the misunderstandings and their failure to communicate.

Together.

He closed his eyes, resting his cheek on Katsuki’s shoulder as they twirled together. Ochako and Tenya’s duet had been so sweet, so cute to watch, but it was nothing on being pulled into one himself, on letting Katsuki sway with him and sing quietly in his ear, just for him, in the middle of his tiny, crummy, apartment kitchen.

It took everything in him to not say the words, every ounce of his willpower to keep them in – he refused to say them like this, when Katsuki couldn’t hear it. He needed those words to be heard, needed them to be understood. Because yeah, they would solve each other’s problems, they would face everything as a team and come out the other side the victors. Win to save, save to win, just like they always had. He needed Katsuki to hear it, to know he was all in, instead of just speaking it for the first time into the void and letting it fade away.

Katsuki’s hand slid across to rest on his lower back, spreading warmth throughout his body, and yet somehow, a shiver up his spine too. Katsuki never touched him like this, was never so gentle with him, and he was weirdly torn on how to feel about it. On one hand, it was so sweet and perfect for them to be so close, as if they could just melt together and become one whole being, instead of the Izuku who felt like he was missing something, was lacking something. Katsuki filled in all the little gaps Izuku had – he’d spent his life thinking be like Kacchan when he was on duty, after all – and Izuku hoped that maybe, just maybe, he made up for the few deficiencies Katsuki had, too. Patience with people he wasn’t fond of, friendliness, and… No, that was probably it. Katsuki was just about perfect, after all.

When Katsuki let him go, Izuku’s body felt weirdly cold, like he’d lost the only source of heat that he’d ever known.

He wanted it back.

“Deku,” Katsuki said faintly, frowning. “You’re back late, dinner is almost ready. Where the hell were you at this time of day?”

“I love you.”

Katsuki froze, and for a moment Izuku wondered if he was wrong about it all – maybe the woman didn’t understand her own quirk as well as they’d all assumed she did.

“Me?” Katsuki asked finally, eyebrows knitting together. “Why me?”

“Kacchan is amazing,” Izuku giggled, tears welling in his eyes. “Didn’t you know?”

A wooden spoon clattered as it hit the tiled floor, and then two warm, strong hands were on Izuku’s cheeks, holding him steady as a pair of soft lips pressed clumsily, frantically, against his own. He didn’t give Katsuki a moment to second guess himself or move away, his arms already clutching desperately around a slim waist, fingers curling into a baggy hoodie and clinging to him with everything he had.

“I love you,” he said again, when their lips parted by mere millimetres. “I’m sorry it took me so long.”

“Me too.”

“Which part?” Izuku giggled. “You’re sorry?”

“All of it.”

“Thank you, Kacchan.”

“Shut up.”

Katsuki’s lips were just as aggressive the second time around, diving in with the same passion he put into everything else in life, and Izuku wasn’t surprised by it in the slightest. He didn’t want a soft, gentle Kacchan who let Izuku do whatever he wanted – the Kacchan he loved was this one, the one who challenged him and pushed his limits, who made him try new things and work his hardest to be the best. His other half, his better half, and the one person that he couldn’t imagine not having by his side. They were Kacchan and Deku, like they’d always been, and no one could ever change that.

“I think Kirishima hates me,” Izuku murmured, when they paused to breathe.

“Why the fuck would he hate you?”

Izuku’s eyes widened, and Katsuki only frowned at him, trying to decipher the look on his face.

“Does he know? That you like me?”

Katsuki blushed, this time, and Izuku barely managed to repress a squeak at how cute he was, dropping his head to nuzzle into Katsuki’s neck and make him squirm.

“You know how I said I did something dumb when I was drunk?”

“Yeah?”

“I told him all about it. I told all of them all about it. How I want to kiss your dumb face and pinch your stupid freckles and ruffle your ridiculous hair.”

“Careful Kacchan, too many compliments like that and you’ll make me faint.”

“You know what I mean,” Katsuki huffed, pinching lightly at Izuku’s chubby cheeks. “I want this. And I told all my stupid friends exactly how… In love with you I am.”

“I don’t think Kirishima was very happy to hear it.”

“Why would he care who I-? Oh. Well, shit.”

“You didn’t know?”

“I never considered it,” Katsuki grimaced. “Fuck.”

“I think Shouto likes me, too,” Izuku grumbled. “Are we awful for upsetting our best friends like this?”

“Fuck no, they’ll get over it. I don’t give a shit what anyone else says, you are mine.”

“Forever?”

“Forever, stupid nerd. We’re gonna grow old together and infuriate everyone in our damn old folks home with how sickeningly perfect we are. The best couple. And then we’re gonna die together because I know you can’t live without me and I sure as hell can’t live without you. Deal with it.”

“That sounds amazing,” Izuku sniffled. “I love you.”

“I… Love you too.”

“This is the best day of my life.”

Katsuki dropped his hands from Izuku’s face down to his shoulders, slowly wrapping them around him and squeezing him just a little too tightly.

“I’ll make tomorrow even better. I promise.”

“I can’t wait.”