Leave a Light On - Chapter One

Katsuki was frankly surprised when he saw the shock of dark-green hair pass by his office window. He'd figured Izuku would take a lot more than three days to sulk about his accident – his mistake, he would call it – but here he was, back in the building where they'd spent the better part of their post-high school life. For some reason Katsuki found himself closing the lid of his laptop, pushing his chair back and stuffing his hands in his pockets as he headed out to the lobby.

Sure enough, there he was. Same old Deku with his messy hair, his bright green eyes, his scattered freckles, and-

And not in costume?

He slowly came to realise that he couldn't even recall the last time he'd seen Izuku out of costume. They were practically uniforms at this point, constantly in place even when – as Katsuki was that night – they were just filling in paperwork. He'd had a full week of patrols, it was the last evening before his weekend, and as he sat writing out details and events, he still wore his baggy pants and tight singlet purely out of habit and comfort.

He contemplated an asshole comment in greeting, debating how much was too much right now, but instead he found himself standing back, watching from the doorway as Izuku approached the main desk quietly. The receptionist shot him a small, sympathetic smile, but for once Izuku didn't bother trying to return it.

“I just had to come get my stuff,” he said softly, not bothering to act happy about it. “I'll only be here for ten minutes.”

“Don't worry about signing in, then. Get some rest, Deku. We're all here for you if you need anything, okay? Don't hesitate to call.”

Izuku didn't even look at Katsuki as he squeezed past, heading for his matching office cubicle down the hall, and Katsuki's feet moved before he even realised they were doing it.

“Hey,” he said softly, forgoing any assholery. “How are you?”

“Not in the mood,” Izuku grumbled. “Not today, alright?”

“I'm serious,” Katsuki frowned. “How are you feeling?”

“Just perfect, thanks, it's been the best week of my life.”

“Okay, you're right, that was a dumb question. I'm just about finished working, do you want to go grab a drink or something and talk it out?”

Izuku finally looked at him, his face dripping with scepticism, and Katsuki cringed.

“I'm fuckin' trying here, okay? Don't give me that shitty look. I know I'm an asshole, but even assholes are human. Do you want to get a fucking drink with me or not?”

“Are you gonna keep being a weird freak the whole night?”

“No, I'm pretty much ready to start yelling at you again.”

“Then yeah, okay.”

“Cool. I've just gotta send in some papers, come to my office when you're done here.”

He didn't bother waiting for an answer, just turned on his heel and headed back toward his own office to submit his reports. They weren't as thorough as usual, he had been planning to go back and add more detail, but considering the shitty work he'd seen other heroes constantly putting in, he was pretty sure he could get away with it just this once.

He stripped off his excess equipment and weaponry to make himself a little less conspicuous, packing them away in his gear bag, and buttoned his coat up to cover his shirt. By the time he slung his bag over his shoulder Izuku was at the door, holding a cardboard box loaded with things from his desk.

“All sorted?” he asked, not bothering to wait for an answer. “Just let me sign out.”

He tapped a few buttons on the tablet at the front desk and spared a wave for the receptionist, digging for his keys as he led the way downstairs.

“Down here,” he instructed, when Izuku paused at the front door.

A hint of confusion crossed Izuku's face but he didn't bother to voice it, still following sullenly as Katsuki took him through the parking garage.

“I'll take you home after, so you can just leave your stuff in the car.”

He unlocked the doors and popped open the trunk, dumping his bag inside and holding his hands out for Izuku's box. Izuku passed it over obediently and took his seat, looking strangely awkward as his eyes scanned over the interior.

“Seat belt,” Katsuki reminded him, as he stuck the key in the ignition. “You good?”

“I didn't know you had a car,” Izuku mumbled.

“It's cool, right?” He reached across the seats and strapped Izuku in himself, since the young man made no move to do it. “I was tired of riding public transport across town in costume, and changing like four times a day was just as annoying, so I dropped some money on getting my own ride. You ever driven before?”

“No.”

“Been a passenger?”

“Yeah, occasionally.”

“Just let me know if you get carsick,” Katsuki grinned, “don't want you puking all over my seats.”

The car was small and sporty, low to the ground, with only two seats since Katsuki had zero intention of ever needing space for kids. It gave him an excuse to not be the designated driver, too, when he met up with friends – hell, half the time he got out of being designated driver by offering Eijirou or Denki driving privileges.

“I'll teach you some time,” Katsuki offered, as he signalled and turned out of the garage. “As long as you're careful.”

Izuku slumped against the door to watch their surroundings blur, and when Katsuki glanced over he saw a defeated expression in the window reflection, green eyes glazed over as they stared at nothing. He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, contemplating, and when the intersection for his usual group of bars approached, he drove straight past it.

He realised his mistake when Izuku tensed up. Concern flooded his veins, and when he glanced over to investigate, he cursed himself.

“This is your patrol area, isn't it?”

“Yeah.”

“Is this where...?”

He nodded, and Katsuki cringed.

“Sorry, I should have gone a different way.”

Izuku shook his head faintly, eyes slightly watery as he looked out over the people cleaning up, gone in a flash as they sped past the streets. Katsuki gritted his teeth, cursing himself for such a rookie mistake, and almost missed the turn off in his frustration. He quickly signalled and pulled out, slowing a little as they moved off the highway, and soon they were trailing through little suburban streets lined with greenery. When they pulled into the driveway Izuku looked confused, snapped out of his misery for the briefest of moments, and Katsuki grinned at him proudly.

“This is my place,” he explained, “come take a look.”

“I walk past this road,” Izuku mumbled, as he climbed out the passenger side door. “On my way home.”

“Do you really? Where do you live?”

“Apartments to the east.”

“The huge high-rise?”

“Yeah.”

“Must be a good view from up there.”

“Yeah.” He paused, looking away as he stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Good for keeping an eye on stuff.”

“I can imagine.” He hunted down his house key and let them inside, shutting off the alarm system and kicking his shoes off in the corner. “I got tired of it, being right in the middle of the city. So noisy, so many people around. Couldn't sleep properly at night.”

Izuku scoffed quietly, and for some reason it made Katsuki smile.

“When was the last time you got a good night's sleep?”

“Never?”

“Sounds about right.” Katsuki reached into the cabinet beside his fridge, pulling out an armful of bottles left over from various parties. “What do you drink?”

“Anything strong.”

He set the collection on the coffee table, dropping onto the sofa and waving for Izuku to come join him. There was plenty of alcohol to choose from, and when Katsuki slid a glass at Izuku and told him to help himself, they both got stuck in.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Katsuki asked, sipping a glass of rum that would probably have tasted better if he'd mixed it with something. “Have you talked to anyone yet?”

“No,” he answered flatly, pausing for a moment. “To both.”

“Hasn't work been on you about counselling or whatever?”

“Yeah, I told them I'm not ready for it.”

“Alright,” he nodded faintly. “You should do it, when you can. It's supposed to help a lot.”

“Have you been?”

“No, I've been pretty lucky on the job so far. Um, Denki did at one point. Said it was really good.”

Izuku paused for a minute, contemplating, taking a long drink from his glass.

“Kaminari?”

“Yeah. We still hang out once a week or so. Eiji- Ah, Kirishima too.”

“That's good.”

“You must see people too, right? You were friends with everybody.”

“Mm, I do.”

“It might help to talk to your friends,” Katsuki suggested. “Bottling things up doesn't work, you know that as well as I do.”

“Why are you being so nice?”

Katsuki smiled faintly to himself, shaking his head as he refilled both their glasses.

“If you're this messed up, how am I supposed to cope when it happens to me?”

“You?” he scoffed, slamming the entire glass then pulling a face. “You'll be back out there the next day like nothing happened.”

“I'm not heartless, Deku.”

“Izuku,” he corrected stubbornly. “I'm on leave for the foreseeable future.”

“I've never called you that a day in your life.”

“Start.”

Katsuki pulled a face, but nodded, reaching for the bottles on the table again.

“I'll try my best.”

They drank for a while longer, barely bothering to converse, until Katsuki's stomach growled.

“Have you eaten?” he asked, glancing at the time on his phone and ignoring the text waiting for him. “I'm starving.”

“No.”

“At all today?” he asked knowingly.

“No.”

“I'm gonna cook something, then,” he stretched as he stood up, yawning in the process. “Any requests?”

“No.”

“Saw that answer coming.”

He threw some rice in the cooker and grabbed some pork from the fridge, searching up a recipe on his phone to glance at. Izuku seemed to relax a little with Katsuki looking the other way, downing a few more drinks and softening into the sofa, and Katsuki sighed to himself.

“Just so you know,” he began cautiously. “When you decide you're ready to talk about it, I don't mind listening, if you want. I know you'll probably worry about putting too much burden on your friends and making things awkward or whatever, so if you want, you can talk to me. I'm not saying I'm gonna be any good at the feelings crap or whatever like your girly friends would be, but I can listen.”

“Thanks.”

It didn't take long for Katsuki to throw the katsudon bowls together, a little proud of himself when he set one in front of Izuku and saw his expression change.

“It's fine if you can only manage a few bites or whatever, but try, okay?”

“Thank you.”

They sat in an oddly comfortable silence as they ate, Izuku getting through over half of his bowl before he slowed off and took a couple more drinks instead.

“Where's your bathroom?” he asked quietly, shaky as he stood up. “Busting to pee.”

“Oh, sorry, right there by the stairs.”

“Thanks.”

Katsuki dreaded hearing retching and vomitting when the door closed, but thankfully all seemed normal, and before long Izuku was dropping back onto the couch with a slightly clumsy demeanor.

“Might want to slow down on the drinks,” Katsuki smirked, “think you're nearing your limit.”

Izuku groaned, sticking his head down in his knees, and Katsuki's eyes widened as he watched.

“Still gotta walk home,” he explained quietly. “Didn't think.”

“What? No, you don't,” Katsuki frowned, “I'll take you, I said that.”

“You can't drive after drinking.”

“I've only had a couple, I'll wait for it to wear off first, don't worry.”

“It's already late, I can't keep you up, you have work tomorrow.”

“I don't, I'm off for two days. Seriously, it's fine. Or you can just stay here tonight and I'll take you home tomorrow some time.”

There was a long pause, the room silent but for the hum of the fridge, then Izuku nodded.

“Okay, I guess I can stay over,” he conceded. “If it's alright. Thank you.”

“It's fine, really. Need another drink?”

“Yeah.”

He chose a new bottle, pouring a full glass but taking a few long swigs right away, topping it up again before he recapped the bottle. The bowl was next, taking a few more mouthfuls of food.

“You can stop if you're full, for the record. Don't feel obligated.”

“I'm not.”

They drank well into the night, long after every house around them had turned out their lights, and finally as they began to share yawns, Katsuki started to clean up.

“You can go take a bath if you want,” Katsuki suggested. “I'll turn the heater on and stuff and get things ready for bed.”

“Okay.”

“On your right at the top of the stairs. Towels are in the cabinet by the sink.”

“Thanks.”

He stumbled a little as he climbed the stairs, keeping a careful grip on the handrail, but soon Katsuki heard water start in the room above him. He finished the dishes and put away all the alcohol, turning on the heater in the bedroom to warm the place up for Izuku, then pausing in front of his wide closet.

The rail was loaded with an array of clothing he never touched. Suits, ties, button-down shirts, tailored pants, all the things he had sourced from sponsors or his mother's workplace, worn once for a special occasion, then hung up to never be seen again if he had any say in the matter. One end held a couple of decent-looking, but still comfortable, outfits for his bar crawls, but other than that he really only touched his hero costume and a couple of sets of worn-in lounging-around clothes.

In the drawers beneath he managed to unearth a plain black t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants devoid of holes, folding them neatly with a pair of brand-new boxers and leaving them at the bathroom door.

With a pillow and a blanket under his arm he headed back downstairs, throwing them at the couch for later, and pulled his phone out to check the message that had been trying to get his attention all night.

[Can we gym early tomorrow? I have a meeting at nine.]

“Shit,” he muttered to himself, drumming his fingers against the thick case.

[Can't make it tomorrow, something came up.]

[Everything okay?]

[Yeah, all good. Fill you in another time.]

He set it down on the coffee table when he heard the bathroom door open, waiting patiently for Izuku to trudge his way down. Katsuki had never noticed how small Izuku was. He knew the dude was lean, athletic, compact, but the way Katsuki's clothes swamped him was almost idiotic. He hitched the waistband up as he reached the bottom of the stairs, his damp hair spilling droplets into dark cotton.

“Thanks,” he mumbled, gesturing toward his clothes vaguely.

“All good. You ready to sleep or did you want to stay up a while longer?”

“Sleep, I think. Hopefully the alcohol will help get me out.”

“Alright, bedroom is upstairs, take this with you.”

He grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and considered throwing it over, but quickly decided against putting that burden on Izuku's tipsy coordination. Instead he crossed the room and stuck it in Izuku's grasp, smiling weakly.

“It should be warming up by now, but you can turn the heater up if you're cold, or grab a spare blanket from the bottom drawer.”

“What about you?”

“I'll sleep down here,” Katsuki nodded toward his pillow and blanket.

“It's your house, you can't.”

“It's fine D- Izuku, it's super comfortable. I fall asleep down here all the time anyway.”

“But...”

“Honestly, it's okay. Go get some sleep, but wake me up if you need anything.”

“You'll blow me up if I wake you,” Izuku grumbled. “I know you.”

“Wake me up from a distance, then. Seriously.”

“Okay,” Izuku conceded a nod, clutching at the hem of his baggy shirt. “Thank you.”

“No problem. Goodnight, Izuku. I hope you get some rest.”

“I'll try.”

He trudged off up the stairs and Katsuki did his last rounds for the night, making sure the doors and windows were closed and locked. Standing at the edge of the entryway, he looked out the narrow window in the front door, pausing for a moment before he flicked off the outside light.