LIFE/WORK: Patron tier stickers & MPLS protests. (public)

I've been going back and forth on making a post here talking about my feelings about what's going on with the protests because, well, I feel like I've been shouting about it non-stop on social media as is, but I always appreciate the fact that Patreon is a platform I can expand my thoughts on and share with you. It feels more like sitting at a table with friends having a conversation than shouting into a void where voices go unheard no matter how loud you shout. I also wanted to make this public, because it's about something larger than just my own little platform. 

Needless to say, it's been nerve-racking to live through this and know that so many people are willing to turn a blind eye and a deaf ear. I have spent my week railing at the injustice and having "debates" (more like one-sided arguments) with family members, trying to explain why this is happening 30 or so minutes away from my home, and never imagined I would have to fight this hard to have people acknowledge a person's humanity. The pain and the terror is something that has grabbed us all by the throat, and as for me, it's hard to see the images and the videos of black people being brutalized over and over, because my visceral reaction is imagining my brothers falling victim to it if someone suddenly decides their brown skin is too threatening. So, I'm just tired.

With that in mind, I sat down yesterday to draw. I wanted to draw something beautiful to counteract the ugliness of what's going on, and most importantly, I wanted to draw something for me. I was once told in college that artists make art as a way of fighting back against a world that tries to jade and beat us down. I think about that often. It's not activism, by any means, but there's value in creating something and putting it out into a world that continues to devalue creativity just as much as it devalues human beings. I also think about Hayao Miyazaki's words, "You have to be determined to change the world with your movies--even though nothing changes--that's what it means to be a director." Replace movies with art, and director with artist, and this is how I feel, lately.

My art may not change the world, but it changes *my* world, and hopefully, it affects other people's lives in a positive way. I also have been thinking a lot about growth and what that means to me. I have pages upon pages of planning and scheduling and mincing and dicing my time to find ways to make this work. I have broken down expenses to open up a shop down to the cent and my time working on my portfolio down to the second. I have begun investing in the materials that I need, in huge part thanks to the help of my current patrons. Most importantly, I have come to realize that to change the world, I must start where I am, with the smallest possible action.  So I channeled it into my drawings, even though they started out as me wanting to draw something beautiful.

The first, is GARDENER, channeling this thought:
"Plant and water your garden where you are, not where you wish you were." 

The second is CHAMPION OF DREAMERS, reflecting Miyazaki's words:
"You have to be determined to change the world with your art—even if nothing changes—that's what it means to be an artist."

I often hear people say 'if I could only bottle _____ then I would be _____" and I think that's what dreams are, in the end. They're things that nurture us and feed us, but also a little bit like messages you stick in a bottle and throw out to sea, hoping it'll get where you want it to go one day and maybe take you with, or that someone else will find it and join you in that journey. But they're also weapons of change. When I was drawing this one, it did not start as a flame, and yet as I looped Miyazaki's words in my head, it became a fire. Ignite the dream and force change. I liked the imagery, it made me hopeful. 

I had been wanting to do tier stickers for a long time now to give to people who sign up to support me, ever since seeing other friends doing so and making some amazing designs; I held back because I didn't just want to design just another thing just because. My Patreon is a way for me to fund my ability to keep making things, so those tiers are tied inextricably to my dreams. This week has also brought to light how important support is to bipoc creators like me and others, and how much I appreciate all the support given to me by you all. Making these into tier stickers felt right. To those who support me, not only are you helping water my garden, and champion my dream; I hope that once you receive it in the mail and stick it somewhere, it'll serve as reminders to water your dreams where you are, and to keep dreaming and striving. It is a reminder that I am along there with you on that journey, supporting you. 

I will be updating my tier images soon (as well as cleaning up my tags and organizing my feed here), and including these for new pledges. I will also be mailing out stickers to my current patrons as soon as the physical versions come in the mail.

 Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. 

Jay