Lip-synching and vaping AGAIN

Some of my favorite sassy songs…
The past week has not been easy, because my caregiver had a beautiful baby so I don't have a weekend caregiver for a couple weeks while we train some new girls! The fact that there are new people wanting to work as a is a fucking miracle.

My body just gets really sore when I don't get stretched and when my parents are taking care of me on Sunday I'm usually alone most of the day. This will soon be alleviated by my weekend caregivers, and I'm also hoping to be able to go out and do more activities on the weekends. There's such a common misconception that paralyzed people don't feel anything. On the contrary, just because I can't move on my own does not mean I still don't get extremely sore and my body craves massage… Just imagine sitting in a chair all day long. Movement is imperative. More people need to realize this about paralyzed people and I would suggest whenever you are around someone who cannot massage or move them selves just ask if you can give them a neck/shoulder massage etc. I realize that some people are averse to touch but not me. I need so much touch to feel normal, and that doesn't even count the sexual touch I'm missing.

I think I'm going to record the first official podcast episode either tomorrow or Thursday, and after giving some thought to your ideas, I still have no fucking clue what to officially call the podcast. I still think paralyzed and polyamorous sums it up, I hate labeling myself because of course as a human I'm always changing and adapting, but for now that's a pretty accurate reflection of me. As a polyamorous person, I was terrified to reflect on a question that came from my own psych that says: have you ever had a crush so monumental that you literally forget about every single person you loved and lost before?

It's such a lovely phenomenon.

I know a lot of people will say, who have not experienced polyamory, oh you are just like that because you haven't found the one yet, immortalizing this idea of a single person who will magically fulfill everything you need. However I think it's often forgotten that polyamorous people truly fall in love… sometimes with one specific person more than the others. This is why I love anchor partners/Nest partners and the foundation of a king or queen situationship where there are boundaries and respect going on before introducing new partners. It might seem a little strange that a disabled woman who does not have a super active sex life… OK fine, no current physical sex life… is so into defining her feelings and ideas surrounding polyamory, but if you don't define what you want in this world how can anybody help you get it. Sometimes I just think of all the able-bodied people I know who are in relationships who have no sex at all and I think to myself, that's so sad. If you are able bodied, and you are able to love someone with your whole body, and you were in a relationship with them, why don't you do it? And if it's not the right fit for you and it's not making you happy why don't you get out of it?

So on my first podcast episode I'm hoping to include the following topics: my idea of what a cool relationship looks like, my pet peeve about how able-bodied people don't think disabled people can feel their bodies, and how the music of Grimes has been my salvation during brutal hospital stays. Also about the dream I had a couple months ago featuring Elon musk who I can assure you is not my version of a monumental crush, then it raises the question did Elon randomly find my Instagram profile I thought to himself, oh another pixie like Grimes, and thought of me for one tiny little nanosecond… because they say you only dream of people if they are thinking of you. I never seem to dream of the people I want to dream about. If any of you have mastered this, feel free to message me with full instructions.

I have therapy tomorrow at 5 PM which I really like because the drive there is at the golden hour and by the time we leave it is a little dark and I LOVE the time of day from 4 PM on. Fun fact, I was born at 4:40 PM so this might have something to do with it. Tomorrow is going to be a good day. I just know it. Usually when I think that way, dreadful things happen so don't play with me universe and let me think optimistically just for fun.

I'm gonna be so happy when's summer finally is here!! You have to have the heart of a Viking to live in Colorado , and I'm borderline.

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