Update in video format
Added 2022-12-16 14:52:08 +0000 UTCCan I get some honest feedback on this video, should I post this publicly? Scared that I either dont make sense or come across like an ungrateful sausage or just a dick. Let me know!
Had fun with the thumbnail though. Wish I could edit a serious video like this in a more entertaining way but its such a bare bones basic edit and serious and boring ahaha.
Thanks all!
Comments
I joined for Subnuatica, and now I’ve watched all of Outer Wilds and I love it. Your temperament and style is perfect for these games. The problem with God of War is it’s such a linear story line, once you’ve watched one play through that’s enough. Surely do what’s health for you. But I hope to see more. Your my first Patron just so I could see those next too Subnuatica’s quicker!
Rogue Variable
2023-03-03 20:44:06 +0000 UTCI love your content, and like others am so sorry that you're having difficulties. I'm sure you've been given more advice than you can process. All I can add is to remember that you aren't the only person to have many of these issues; even the biggest youtubers have had similar. You're doing great, and you'll get past this. Do what you need to do, there aren't any wrong choices here. Hope your spirits are up. I can't wait to see the rest of your echos playthrough. <3
James Newman
2023-01-01 04:43:32 +0000 UTCLong comment warning... First thing, you've always come across as an awesome person who wears her heart on her sleeve. That's been a great thing throughout your videos (likely a big part of why the Hollow Knight fandom flocked to you!) and it's also a great thing here. You put yourself across well as a genuine articulate person rather than a press release. It's been pretty cool when you've sometimes mentioned how you intentionally steer away from fostering parasocial relationships from people who watch your stuff. Basically doing what you can to reduce the general psychological weirdness that comes with distributing content through this sort of medium. That makes it even more of a shame how that same dimension of weirdness is clearly biting you. So, much sympathy! The world shouldn't work how it does. Can only imagine how odd it is for a conscientious person to exist in the Youtube bubble of merciless analytics stats. Have seen a couple of really good people fall victim to the algorithm's whims recently. Popular longstanding channels seeing inexplicable dropoffs in viewership or even being suddenly demonetised. So, please do bear in mind that much of your recent experience may well be because the machine is changing around us all... rather than reflecting some seismic shift in actual people's response to you! More importantly though, thank you for having gone through all that tumult for as long as you have just so us folk could watch more of your stuff! That's a pretty dedicated thing to do. But now though, please definitely do some self care, don't harm yourself for this. Doing what you'll find satisfying has to be a good idea. Also worth remembering that success never happens without a reason. Even if all of this Youtube stuff eventually goes out of fashion, you've still built an excellent thing here that many people have enjoyed. Lastly, for what it's worth, here's the non-statty feedback I can give on the sort of thing you're wondering about... I personally found my way to the channel because of Hollow Knight but have enjoyed your later stuff just as deeply in different ways. Alien and Zelda hugely! With the Ragnarok vids, which are definitely also good!, what comes across strongly is your deep love for prior parts of that series. Not being familiar with those, part of what I got out of the videos is that I should make time to look at the earlier games some time. Am consciously "saving" your Outer Wilds vids, simply because that game is already lurking on my mahoosive list of unplayed Steam games, so I'll come back and fully watch your playthrough once I've experienced it myself. Could totally go into more depth about that sort of thing, but that's probably enough for now! Also, yep, patreon-ed you after seeing this update on Youtube. Anyway, that's my comment. Please do what you will enjoy. Loads of us will keep an eye out for your stuff regardless of where or when you publish, and I personally will admit that I'm looking forward to your eventual Silksong playthrough perhaps even more than I'm looking forward to the game itself. Funny old world, eh? Also felt pretty emotional when the Hollow Knight music kicked in quietly near the start of this video! That was a good production choice, even amidst rubbish times. Go you, being a content creator.
Davy Stephens
2022-12-21 00:40:01 +0000 UTCAnd when it come to rejection, I know it’s easy for people to say that lower numbers aren’t rejection, but that doesn’t stop us from feeling it. I also have ADHD and rejection dysphoria/trauma is super real and common for us. Please try to be kind to yourself, your response is super understandable even if it’s not what we see <3
Rosewater
2022-12-20 13:58:13 +0000 UTCAmber I’m so sorry your struggling 😢 I don’t think you’re doing anything wrong but listening to this idk if you know what sets you apart from other lets players, what makes your channel special. And to be clear *your channel is special* there is no other let’s player like you and that’s not likely to change even if a game or two isn’t as raging a success as hollow knight 1) you explore with so much wonder and keen observation, it was especially a joy watching you play game I already loved because you would make me love them even more 2) in many of these games you’re *unfathomably skilled*. a big thing I’ve gotten out of your videos is almost vacariously wishing that I was that skilled in my first experience. Obvious not all tho lol :) 3) you do it with the softness and love that is very rare in this male dominated space. I think that reflects itself in what a lot of people say about your channel. We love seeing a perceptive sweet and skilled player explore a world we love! That seems to me why GOW 2018 did well but not ragnarok. Ragnarok is still new and folks are playing it themselves. When it come to analytics that’s probably why growth is down. All your other playthroughs were bringing in established fans, but Ragnarok isn’t old enough to have established fans. I suspect that streaming is a good idea, it’s probably the best place for new games that don’t have established communities like Ragnarok, while you play games like Hollow Knight, New Vegas, or dark souls, or SWOTOR that have communities that would join to cheer your exploration on on the main Channel
Rosewater
2022-12-20 13:51:59 +0000 UTCThis one is so frickin right
Rosewater
2022-12-20 13:22:54 +0000 UTCHi Amber, I joined patreon as soon as I saw your video, I’m so sorry you’re dealing with all this on your own! I joined for HK, but stayed because you’re such a friendly face and I love your insight into how games are made. I recently binged the whole of GOW and GOW:R while I was quarantined with Covid and it was such a comfort when I was feeling lonely. Please know there are people who really appreciate what you’re doing. As a fellow female dev I can also relate hard to some of the struggles you’ve been experiencing, it’s tough out there. I hope you find the support network that you need, so many of us are rooting for you!
Bonnie
2022-12-20 13:10:24 +0000 UTCHey. Just subscribed here after I watched your video on YouTube. Do your thing. Do whatever you want to. Things are gonna work out because 99% of us are here for a reason, and it's you, your personality, your insight and your friendly face. Get well soon and talk to a doctor if you feel like it.
Josie K Josette
2022-12-19 22:23:22 +0000 UTCI watched your latest update had to join your Patreon to show support. Maybe those transient YouTube subscribers you lost are like people who come and go in our lifetime. In life you can't have very many really close true friends, but you can have quite a few acquaintances and temporary friends. It's best to worry only about the real friends, the few, and to expect the others to be merely passing through your life. Easy come, easy go.
Dale Strumpell
2022-12-19 20:05:37 +0000 UTCHi Amber, I just watched your latest public upload and decided to finally come show my support for one of my favorite small creators over the past year. I'm not usually one to leave comments, but I've enjoyed every single one of your videos as you've played through many of my all-time favorites, including God of War, Hollow Knight, and Outer Wilds! As someone who probably contributed to God of War Ragnarok's poor performance on your channel, I wanted to share a possible explanation as for why, that at least applies to myself if not many others. I've very much anticipated this game and was excited to play it day one on my PS5. To protect myself from spoilers, I pre-emptively (and temporarily) unsubscribed and unfollowed many channels/accounts I knew would talk about the game to discourage the algorithm from recommending GoWR spoilers when the game actually released. This included a bunch of developers' and actors' Twitter accounts, and a bunch of YouTubers I knew would cover GoWR's launch. I didn't unsubscribe from your channel; however, I did mark the "Not Interested" button to stop them from showing up in my recommendations as I was still playing the game. After I completed my playthrough (which took just over a week for me), I went back and watched your perspective from the videos you've posted. I was excited to see what you would think of it, and I love seeing other people play the games I love. However, a new challenge with GoWR is that since it just released, everyone wants to play it for themselves first--which makes let's plays that happen as the game releases naturally suffer, as your audience probably drops to the people who aren't able to play it themselves. I don't think this is a sign of you doing anything wrong, but it is a new environment compared to playing games that have been out for years. While I did not unsubscribe, some others might have to protect themselves from spoilers, and they either have not finished the game yet or have forgotten to re-subscribe (which happens all too often). I think that now that the game has been out for a solid month and most people who planned to play the game Day 1 have finished their playthroughs, your GoWR videos will likely be received much better as opposed to when you were appearing on their Recommended as they were trying to complete the game themselves. Just a thought, and my apologies for being verbose. I hope you have a wonderful holidays!
Drakonkinst
2022-12-19 17:51:35 +0000 UTCHi Amber, I left this on YT but incase you don't read those comments anymore: If you are feeling alone doing YouTube, would it help if you had an editor? It would take some of the work off your plate and you would have someone else involved to bounce ideas off and to relate to? And as some general advice from another creative (I'm a musician and been doing it for 20 years): you won't please everyone. Most people won't like what you do. And that's fine. You have to do what YOU want to do. And if other people like it, that's a bonus. And those are your real fans. Also, indie games will generally have better communities than AAA games. Indie games fans are hardcore and just love gaming and watching people experience their loves for the first time. AAA games are mainstream, so attract more bell ends. Regarding the editor idea; I know some people who would love to edit some gaming videos (possibly even myself) so if interested, DM me and I'll put you in contact with some people. Regardless of what you do, look after yourself first and foremost. Stay safe. CJ
Code: Marla
2022-12-19 17:28:02 +0000 UTCHi Amber, I'm gonna keep this semi-short even tho I have a lot on my mind for you, because I know how hard it is to give yourself time to read long-ass comments while feeling the weight of your world on your shoulders. I am very confident in that the reason you lost subscribers is because you finished playing Hollow Knight, one of the best indie games in the world with a huge cult following, and that the subsequent games just weren't as popular. There isn't much you can do about that. You just have to accept that you will lose the diehard HK fans who fell in love with you for your HK playthrough. There is nothing you can do to keep that specific group. For every new game you play, you will have this rise and fall of that specific fanbase. My advice to you, if you want to alleviate the drop in subscribers after finishing games, is to have at least one game on your channel with the same spirit as HK. Games that symbiose with your hyperfocus and curiosity (e.g., Return of the Obra Dinn, Stanley Parable, The Witness). Games that pull on your emotional strings (e.g., Ori 2, Little Nightmares 1 and 2). Games that didn't come out so recently that people avoid to avoid spoilers (i.e., GoW:R). Just know that it has nothing to do with how you play, how you react to things, or anything along those lines. That is a very small minority if anything. Remember to practice self-care. Merry Christmas and a happy new year!
SlyFox
2022-12-18 03:45:18 +0000 UTCMerry Christmas! I hope your holidays will be fun. If I had anything to suggest, it would be what others have said with maybe cutting down video lengths to be more around ~45 minutes. Basically the only other YouTuber I watch is Lowko, (his morelowko channel) and he does streaming then cuts his streams into ~45 minute chunks. It might be nice because you could have like 3 videos prepared all at once so u aren’t stressed out trying to make a video for every week on time. It might also help to have a set schedule like one video of a game like Zelda releasing mondays, and a video like god of war/ current game on Thursday or something. Thanks for always being real with us, and for the fun videos. Also Just do what makes you happy!
Brinkia
2022-12-17 19:22:36 +0000 UTCI like the humorous thumbnail juxtaposed with the more serious video content. And basic editing works well for these. I feel you’ll get a good response from your core audience if you post it publicly, but you might lose some more subs too (YouTube subscribers are a fickle bunch). But, you do have a loyal core audience so try to think of that side of things rather than the numbers. Easy for me to say I know. You have a very likeable personality, and I think we just want to see you play games you enjoy and have fun with them. I personally love the extra game dev info too. You may have already talked to other YouTubers like Emmalition, so I hope they may understand more and be able to help more than us. A lot of female gamers I used to watch have gone over to Twitch and found better communities, so it seems all too common to have problems on YouTube. A break from recording certainly sounds like a good idea if you’re not enjoying it at the moment, at least over the Christmas period. Im sure your core audience, who love watching you game, will still be here when you return.
Steve WF
2022-12-17 18:08:05 +0000 UTCSo sorry that you have to deal with harassment :( Are you able to report the harassers to platform holders and local police? If you're feeling scared and unsafe, don't hesitate, you have every right to do so! I hope you have something to look forward to with the upcoming holidays, but I know they can be particularly lonely and hard as well :( Do you have someone you can talk to, either a friend or a therapist or someone else? I tend to get quite sad during the colder and darker months, but I have a lamp that emulates daylight which really helps me! My ADHD medication also helps incredibly well; I'm feeling so much better than I did in the past 10 years. Take your break, find the fun in making videos again, or find something else entirely :) Would it be possible for you to reach out to Emmalition for some help with the ups and downs? Offering you the biggest of hugs imaginable and wishing you the very, very best for the holidays and beyond!
Huib Gelling
2022-12-17 14:46:51 +0000 UTCNo matter what you choose to do, we patrons support and love you.
Niko
2022-12-17 04:15:27 +0000 UTCAmber you always look amazing in your videos and your genuine ethusiasm for every game is infectious. I know that feeling when you've worked really hard for a long time and made lots of progress until one day, one week, one month, you realize everything has stalled. You figure something has to change but you don't know what. (Haven't you been doing everything right?!?) It's one of the scariest feelings in the world. Really. Take a deep breath and try to process that for a moment. Your Outer Wilds series helped me through one of those times - more than I can say. I remember being sooo excited to join your Patreon to see new episodes right away. You played it with such patience and a childlike sense of wonder that so many of us lose as years go by. You remind us what makes games so special. Games are great but they can be lonely. Editing is lonely too. Social media (ironically) is also lonely. As your patrons, our love and support only goes screen deep! :( If this text could hug you it totally would so give yourself a great big hug from all of us - we'll wait. :) We all love you lots and wish we could shower you with stuffed animals with that new clean smell just to make you smile, even for a moment. Find your IRL people (the ones we can't know about) and tell them how much you love them and hug them for real! Sit on a bench outside and take in the world around you until your mind settles (this can take some time/practice), then gradually new thoughts and feelings emerge and you're one step closer to being where you want to be. You're such a wonderful person and anyone who can call you friend is lucky beyond words. You also know better than anyone it can't really come from us :( We're happy to offer support and kind words - make us a pitstop, not an escape! Keep your separate life secret! Keep it safe! My favorite part of your channel will always be re-experiencing familiar games through your blind playthroughs. But what matters most to me is that the creator not suffer for our benefit. Someone so wonderful as you should never have to feel alone because work. You might not know us but you've helped so many of us. You are worth helping. You are worth caring for.
Ted Cart
2022-12-17 03:55:23 +0000 UTCtaking a break sounds like it would be a great idea if you need it. one good thing about youtube now is that breaks don't seem to be the algorithm-killer they once were; you can easily take a year long break, post a new video, and still get good views (speaking from experience). hope you feel better soon!
Jamie Bateman
2022-12-17 02:29:10 +0000 UTCI think a lot of people nowadays watch Let's Plays specifically of their favourite games that they have a personal connection with, rather than following a single creator through every game they play. I personally found your channel because I was living vicariously through people's first experiences with Outer Wilds. Which probably explains why a game like Hollow Knight got such great reception, but the triple-A games you've played like GoW were poor. Of course Hollow Knight is pretty exceptional in having a large dedicated community around it. Most of those kinds of 'cult' indie games are much less popular and pull in less viewers. Sorry to hear about your mental state. It must be rough feeling afraid of your own community. And considering your personality is one of the major draws to the channel, building a wall between yourself and your viewers definitely doesn't help engagement. But of course you shouldn't force yourself to interact more if you're concerned about privacy and personal boundaries being breached. It's an unfortunate situation and I can't say I know any way around it. I'm not a content creator so I can't offer much advice, those are just some thoughts I have. But I hope you figure something out and find a more positive future on Youtube. It would be a shame to lose your content
Wojo
2022-12-16 20:45:19 +0000 UTCHi Amber, First of all, I am sending my biggest and warmest hugs to you. I felt like almost crying watching you, I am so sorry that you are not feeling much better these days. To answer your main question: I would advise not to post. Not because you sound like an ungrateful b**** or whatever you call yourself and that I don't think anyone in here thinks of you that way. Just you are being too honest and so any bad reaction (even if it is two comments among 500 positive ones) may just be too hurtful. For sure, I am no one to judge and if you feel like you can handle those (and just promise to really forget about those bad reactions when they are so few), then sure: it would be a better way than here to have feedback as we are too biased in your favor here. Also you keep saying you are doing something badly. And as you care and don't feel comfortable in this situation your eyes are on the analytics and the bad numbers, this is understandable. Just a reminder that you have also done much good! Look at the number (and length!) of responses you got in just a couple of hours: people have taken time out of their busy lives to send you lovely messages. And that is the most they can do: I am sure many of us would organise a party or a drinking night in group just to cheer you up if we could. Your community truly cares about you as we can care for a friend. For the videos: I have not watched the Ragnarok ones yet (but have always been late anyways and have never been part of the numbers just if you look within a week of posting) and I cannot judge if something goes wrong/has changed with them... but nothing has struck me during the Zelda videos. As others I think that the videos could be a bit shorter, or even maybe curate short 5-minutes best of moments cut from 1-2 episodes maybe (if they are not too difficult to make)? Anyways I think people have come around because they like your personality. So nothing can work if you are not feeling like playing something and do it as a chore. And it works best when the game surprises you and there is a sense of wonder shining out of it, that you can reflect very nicely. Last point, and maybe you don't want to read that but maybe these drops of numbers are inevitable to your segment and the way you do it. And I am not telling you that you should do otherwise or anything, you do you and whatever feels great to you. But as much as you don't want it to be misinterpreted that way, lots of people come for the human side of it and the (false sense of) "relationship" with the content creator. Just because watching a video with some human interacting feels less lonely. But then the phases mimic the ones of real life's encounters you make: and you are not the goofy one (high energy content creators), not the one you bond over shared stories of common experiences either (creators that interact and share a lot about their everyday life), but you are the quiet and nice one. So people exchange their numbers at parties (like when people subscribe to your video) but after some time you keep contact with less people than the goofy friend or the one who shares more about their life (like when people unsubscribe). Not sure I have explained myself clearly enough, hope it makes sense. Hope things are going to get better for you soon and wish you a wonderful holiday season! Take care!
TonyBadP5
2022-12-16 20:38:05 +0000 UTCSome perspective that's helped me in the past: For you to have gotten to the place you are now, so early into your career, takes more than blind luck. That part of you that attracts success isn't going to go away. If you take a break or change to something completely different, no matter what you do, trust that you find success in it again. No one expects you to be anything more than yourself, and that will always be enough :)
llama__
2022-12-16 19:45:43 +0000 UTCSorry you've had to deal with this nonsense. People on the Internet can be quite inconsiderate and downright creepy. As I've said before, I find all of your videos quite enjoyable and still do. It's clear that a lot of effort is put into them. With regards to the performance of the channel, my best bet it that it's simply down to the inner workings of the mysterious and glorious Algorithm™. I do not work at Google, and this is pure speculation, but my guess is that the algorithm is designed to not only drive viewer engagement but also creator engagement. Thus, you will see periods where the algorithm favors your channel extraordinarily to drive huge spurts of growth until you are hooked on making videos and will keep working for Google "for free". It will then turn its attention towards other channels where it sees similar potential leaving your channel in more of a dry period. This could explain why the subscriber count has dropped a bit. People are always leaving, but in the growth period a lot more people were entering the door. I've noticed that your subscriber count has started climbing a bit again today, so maybe not all hope is lost :) I do hope you have a great rest of the year and that 2023 will bring you more happiness :)
Trolez
2022-12-16 19:13:31 +0000 UTCHi Amber, Sorry to hear that you've had to deal with all of this. I would post the video to YouTube to get the feedback that you're wanting. Those of us here on Patreon are here because we already love your content and have chosen to support you and the channel. All you have done in the video is be honest and very politely explain why things are the way that they are. Those who are with you will stick with you, and those who aren't have already made their mind up and they're not worth stressing over. There's a difference between giving constructive criticism and what you've been put through. Invading an individuals personal space and making them feel afraid to post the content they love creating is awful, nobody should have to experience that. Remember that you make amazing content with excellent commentary that has not only made me want to play alongside the games being featured, but has made me think about them in a way that I wouldn't have done otherwise. I won't pretend to understand how the YouTube algorithm works, but even as I watch this video, you still come across as the same genuine, down to earth content creator that made me want to support the channel to begin with. I have no doubt that you could turn the channel around if that's what you wanted to do, but I wouldn't like to think that would come at the cost of you not putting your mental health and wellbeing first. Have a wonderful holiday break and I wish you all the best for 2023 🙂
Nathan Dye
2022-12-16 18:27:44 +0000 UTCI'm sorry to hear things have been so rough for you, Amber. :( I don't think you come off as ungrateful or whatever. It's hard when you are excited about something and it seems to all be going great and then it's not, but you haven't changed anything. You want to know why and how to fix it! I can only offer my thoughts, and whether they are helpful or not, I can't say. I think there are two main paths to YouTube - either you want to make money and make it a career or you just want to have fun and engage with a community. Both are equally valid reasons to be a content creator, but I think the way to go about them both is massively different. They only thing they have in common is that on the internet, you will never make everyone happy. To quote GrandPooBear quoting someone from Jersey Shore(?): "You can be the juiciest peach in the world, but some people just don't like peaches." That's actually stuck with me. If you are going for a career you have to worry about algorithms and thumbnails, engagement and retention as well as scrutinize your every move to appeal to the most people possible and offend the fewest. I watch GrandPooPear and Ryukahr and both have remarked the same sort of things. Viewers can be very picky and certain content for them (Mario Maker) has to be top priority or they loose subs. It's bad enough that Ryukahr had to make a second channel Ryu for non-Mario stuff. That blows my mind that people watch streamers for specific content and not because they like watching the streamer, themselves. Even a quite successful streamer like Poo will see a massive drop in Twitch subs on months that he's playing a non-mario game. It's possible you got a huge jump in subs from Hollow Knight or RDR? and those people are only interested in that specific content. Every time you upload they see a non-HK video and think you have moved on and unsub because HK is all they want to see. And if that's your career that sort of thing is very important to find out and work around. But if you are making videos for fun - just have fun! That's also a sentiment from both Poo and Ryu. The most important thing in streaming (they say) is to be having fun yourself and that will rub off on your viewers. It takes a lot longer to gain followers but the ones you have will be following not for a specific thing you do but because of you, yourself. Screw the people who seem to think content creators are supposed to do X or Y for them, they can go watch people who carefully choreograph their every move to fit the algorithm. Doing what you want will prune out a lot of those people and leave you just with the core of people who enjoy watching you enjoy yourself and you will gain more of those types of viewers as you go. You will probably shed the HK and RDR die-hards in the process but unless that's all you play, they are going to leave sooner or later. But above all, just remember: "You can be the juiciest peach in the world, but some people just don't like peaches."
Chris DePrisco
2022-12-16 18:24:35 +0000 UTCThe point you've made about video lengths is something I've mentioned previously too 👍The sweet spot for long-form content seems to be 40-45 minutes, and I think it would be interesting to experiment with shorter videos if the drop-off continues. Having said that though, Amber has been successful releasing much longer videos historically, so I'm not sure why that would suddenly change.
Andy
2022-12-16 16:43:43 +0000 UTCSorry you are going through something like this Amber. Content creating can be such a roller coaster and it’s not easy at all. You’re are an absolute gem and I’ve enjoyed your playthroughs since the beginning. Firstly, your health should always come first. If Taking the rest of the year off or dropping a game (yes even Ragnarok) needs to be done for your mental, do it. Yes it will cause an uproar, yes you will disappointing people , but in the end your core community will be here to support you. You have to find that somewhat balance you had before . Consistency affects a lot of things when you’re a creator and could be a big reason why things are fluctuating so much for you. People can be picky assholes on the internet. Maybe try reaching out to other YouTubers to get more feedback? I don’t know what you’ve tried at the moment. Wish there was a way to help more. I hope you find the a way to get through all of this and feel better. It sucks seeing you like this. Thank you for being vulnerable with us and I hope I speak for more than just myself when I say we will continue to support no matter what direction you go with the channel!
Bo
2022-12-16 16:19:12 +0000 UTCHello Amber, Repeating one of the comments above, you cannot please everyone and unsatisfied people are usually more vocal than others. I love watching your videos and you do it very well. I do believe though that your usual video length of over two hours was a bit too long and I could never finish it in a single sitting. Maybe that is hurting your YouTube Analytics? The vast majority of gaming videos I have watched from long-established channels like ChristopherOdd and Many A True Nerd are about 40 minutes long. Your videos are especially fun to watch because you enjoy the games that you play. Take care of yourself and all that.
Thiago Barros
2022-12-16 16:13:31 +0000 UTCHey Amber, So so sorry you feel this way. I can't begin to imagine how it is to be a woman in this space that can often feel very toxic, but I'm so grateful that i've found your channel and i've spent many many hours watching your videos. The safe space that you mentioned that you lost in youtube i found in channels like yours, and thank you for it. But as other people said please take care of yourself and if that means no more videos from you that's ok, i'll miss you (haha it's so weird to say that to someone you've never met), but i'd be glad knowing you're ok and that you're not being bullied anymore <3 And yeah, hollow knight community is the best gaming community i've ever come across as well. As for the decline in watch time, I can only speak for myself - i've skipped watching your GOW videos because i'd like to play it myself in the future and wouldn't like to be spoiled on the story. That's the problem with narrative, story-based games I think, like for example i had no problem watching all through your Bloodborne videos (multiple times haha) even though i never played it before, because it has less of story and more of just a vibe. Same for hollow knight (although i did play that one and was really happy to see you find so much joy in it as i did). Don't know if that's helpful at all but that's just my story with you're channel, and even though i'm not watching GOW i still get excited whenever I see your patreon post in my inbox :) Btw you're the first person who's patreon i joined, dunno why, i guess most of the channels i watch are bigger, and you're an up and coming creator who brought so much joy and peace into my life that i wanted to support you, and still do. Thanks again for everything and hopefully you'll be here posting for many years to come ☺️ But if not, glad we had this time, again, weird saying to someone you've never met, but it does somehow feel like having an amazingly cozy, peaceful, joyful and sometimes angry or tearful, but always honest time with a friend. Appreciate you so much, I hope you feel better soon and find your safe space again. <3
miša
2022-12-16 16:10:00 +0000 UTCHey Amber, Sorry you’re feeling so down about everything, nobody deserves the amount of hate I’m sure you get from trolls. And you don’t have to be sorry you’re feeling that way or want to make a change. As far as dropping games or pushing yourself through them, I say just drop them. People are gonna get upset but you could give 100 people $1 million each and there’s bound to be one person who complains they didn’t get $2 million. That’s just unfortunately how some people (ungrateful losers) are. I say play what you want to play and your natural curiosity and enjoyment will come through and if people don’t like it or watch it as much, that’s just what’s going to happen and it has nothing to do with how “good” you are at streaming or YouTube content creation. I could watch any play through of any game by any YouTube channel but you’re one of two that I actually subscribe to and support and it’s because of your personality and insights. Regardless, whether you take a break or not, I hope you find a path that helps alleviate your negative feelings.
Brad Brown
2022-12-16 16:04:04 +0000 UTCThis was obviously a very hard video for you to film and to see you so upset and lost on what to do breaks my heart. As for whether you should post it publicly, I'm sure most of your audience will be sympathetic and perhaps even have some good feedback for you, but there is a possibility that you'll get some assholes being, well, assholes. Just the way it is unfortunately. That anyone has looked for your personal information and invaded your real life is absolutely disgusting and they should be ashamed of themselves. I just don't understand why anyone thinks that's a good idea. As for YouTube and why people are unsubscribing, I honestly have no idea. As far as I can see nothing has changed on your part. The videos are still just as great as they ever were. I've noticed that you've apologised a few times for being quiet during a video, but I can honestly say I've not noticed that whatsoever. I'll admit that I didn't watch your Ori or Outer Wilds videos but that's purely because I'm not interested in those particular games. Whenever you play a game I'm interested in I'll of course be watching. You're obviously very disappointed with how Ragnarok has done but I don't think that had anything to do with you. There are just too many channels fighting for the same audience at the same time, and unfortunately you had bad luck there. I've also seen people comment on other channels saying that because they are playing/have yet to play Ragnarok themselves, they will temporarily unsub to avoid spoilers popping up in their feeds. That may be the cause of at least a few people unsubscribing from your channel. At the end of the day you have to do what's best for yourself and if that makes some people unhappy, that's their problem. Take a break, enjoy Christmas, and put this horrible year behind you. Try something different next year, whether that involves content creation or something else entirely. You're a smart person and I know you'll figure out what to do and what makes you happy in the end. You're awesome and I wish you all the best Amber.
Neil Hanson
2022-12-16 15:53:38 +0000 UTCHello, I'm really sorry to hear about your bad experiences with all of this. People can be so destructive. I've also heard from multiple people who have experienced burnout with their YouTube channels, so you are not alone there. It seems that the month by month, day by day, second by second way that YouTube gives you statistics on your videos is addictive and can easily drive you into a bad place. Especially because the YouTube algorithm basically requires you to lean into the clickbait titles/thumbnails in order to have any hope of winning that game that they've set up for you. I've absolutely loved watching you play games - Hollow Knight was what brought me to your channel, but since then I've watched several other series. Your Ocarina of Time playthrough is amazing, and I get so much enjoyment from watching you enjoy the games. Of course, I will sometimes avoid game series where I want to avoid spoilers in games I want to play myself (your first episode made me want to play the Outer Wilds myself - one day I'll have time!), but that's one hazard playing new games, I think. I don't know how typical I am, but for me, the most important thing is that enjoyment. Don't play games you're not enjoying. The numbers are there to guide you, not to rule you. This channel is for you, and allow yourself time to recover and decide what you want. I hope you can have a peaceful few weeks, and we'll see you when you're ready.
Ant
2022-12-16 15:45:07 +0000 UTCFirst things first, take care of what matters most: yourself. Secondly, don't try to please everyone because that is not possible. Play and enjoy what you want. Everyone else doesn't matter in that regard, even us patrons. Finally, to reiterate, take care of yourself. It's easy to get burned out being a content creator with a full time job, especially when doing it alone.
Culade
2022-12-16 15:44:02 +0000 UTCfirst and foremost, i am so sorry that you've been having a rough time, that really sucks, i can't imagine that it's easy to deal with seeing the analytics going the way they're going. there is no need to apologise for not uploading. if uploading would only make you feel worse, then the lapse in uploads is entirely understandable <3 you don't sound ungrateful or selfish at all in this video; you put a lot of work into this channel and it's totally valid to worry about these things. that is indisputable. i don't really know if there is a single cause for the drop in analytics, there are too many things to speculate on when it comes to that, so i feel that the most important thing to focus on is just your own mental health and love for making videos. i don't really know what a good solution is but maybe the break is a good idea. taking some time away to not have to worry about videos might do a world of good, the last thing anyone wants is for you to force yourself to record and upload when it might just make you feel worse. we'll still be here when you come back to support you! i think it would be a good idea to post this to the channel or maybe just something saying that you're taking a break (if that's what you decide to do, of course). not just to update people, but it might also help to get your feelings off your chest, holding them in is never a good thing. i'm sure there will be loads of people in the comments supporting you because you deserve support! (also, as andy said, you may get more unbiased feedback on youtube too, which is invaluable) i really hope that you're able to figure this out, it's good to get support but at the end of the day, you're the only one who can decide what you want to do, we'll support you whatever you do decide on doing. hope you have a good christmas and new year!
ChilledGricken
2022-12-16 15:39:24 +0000 UTCI’m so sorry that you feel down about your channel. You are my favorite let’s play channel on YouTube. I’ve been around since you started your TLOU play through and have enjoyed everything since. You even somehow managed to make me enjoy watching a souls-like, which is very out of character for me. I don’t think you need to worry about your channel, though, especially as it relates to Ragnarok. I think there is a very simple explanation that isn’t your fault at all. It’s because of spoilers. With Ragnarok being brand new, people want to have a chance to play unspoiled and I can speak to this, because I’ve had to unsubscribe to a few channels I love because they kept uploading Ragnarok videos with spoilers in the thumbnail and title. Your GoW videos have been posted with incredible respect for your audience when it comes to that, but I think people are just being overly cautious because so many others don’t seem to care about spoiling their audience. Going forward for new games, I would suggest only posting to Patreon until you are sure you want to commit to a full play through of a game, and then starting to upload it to Youtube, so you don’t get a bunch of weirdo fanboys that only came to see that game and are rude and insensitive if you stop. I think the best thing you can do to deal with the inevitable hate that any popular youtuber gets is having a community member act as a moderator for your comments, so you don’t have to be exposed to that gross negativity that is so prevalent in the online gaming community. If you want to explore having a mod help out with your Youtube comments or anything else, you can DM me, as I’d love to help out considering the hours and hours of top notch gaming entertainment you have provided over the last year plus. Please don’t feel down about yourself. There is a huge community out here that loves the content you put out and has your back no matter what. Keep doing you.
Ryan B
2022-12-16 15:37:39 +0000 UTCHello Amber, I’m so sorry that things have been so rough on you. It’s the worst feeling to feel scared and alone in a space. I know that I can’t give any advice that you haven’t already thought of. And I’m not in your position/emotional space. So I’ll just give my support and admiration. You are an incredibly kind and entertaining person/creator. I plan on supporting you through Patreon and YouTube for as long as you’re on these platforms. I’m sorry the negative and harmful voices are so loud. I struggled so hard with my mental health this year and I know how isolating and brutal it can be. Please know that there a lot of fans who care about you and your happiness. To me, what you play doesn’t matter one percent. I’d much rather watch you play something that brings you joy. You deserve joy and happiness. I hope you take as long of a break as you need. 🧡
VacationWolf
2022-12-16 15:33:43 +0000 UTCYou don't come across as either ungrateful or a dick, but that's just me and, I'm guessing, your other patrons saying that. I didn't mind much when you stopped playing Red Dead, but apparently others did so regardless of what we say, if you do publish this there's bound to be at least one person who takes it badly. Now I would say fuck that person, but I get it, and you address it in the video, it's not that easy. If you are committing to that brake until the new year, really take some time to figure out if this is what you want to be doing and if it is, just commit to a regular schedule and keep the content coming. To hell with the subs and views and analytics, just keep making videos or streaming or whatever you want and see if it makes you happy. Personally, I'd be fine if you didn't keep going with Ragnarok, but picking up and dropping so many series is I'm guessing something that's upsetting people and causing them to turn away. Watching a person playing through a game creates an expectation and emotional investment in seeing them go through the whole journey, but if that person keeps stopping only part way through, it's no wonder people get frustrated. You are wonderful, Amber, we care a lot about you, and we just want you to be happy. Thank you for the Echoes of the Eye video, I've been really looking forward to that. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
The Mighty Pipe
2022-12-16 15:30:33 +0000 UTCMan, this was a rough one to watch. The people in here obviously enjoy your content enough to donate, so it risks becoming an echo chamber and maybe isn't the best place for unbiased feedback. Based on that I'd recommend uploading this to YouTube to gain wider feedback, but at the same time I also think you shouldn't feel like you have to explain yourself so much... I think part of the numbers dropping may be that you're in a vicious cycle where you aren't uploading regularly due to the channel's performance getting you down, but the lack of uploads is then in turn affecting your presence in youtube's algorithm. I don't know how you get out of that without finding some unearthly motivation to just push through though. One thing I've noticed is that your videos that reference being a game dev in the the tile perform much better than others. This is consistent across your uploads and is something you should maybe lean into more. It may seem a bit clickbaity to do it on every video, but it's what brought me to the channel originally 🤷 The only other thing I can really say is, if you feel like you have to drop a game for your mental health, drop it. You'll upset people, yeah, but you'll have more energy and be in a better place than you will be if you force it, and that's an easy trade IMO. Take care Amber. Have a great Christmas and New Year if we don't catch you before then.
Andy
2022-12-16 15:16:04 +0000 UTCHi Amber, Sorry you're not having a good experience right now. I always enjoy watching you play things I've already played; experiencing things the first time, and seeing things differently than I did. GoW: Ragnarock is; I think; the first time you've played something on the chanel upon release? It's the reason I haven't watched those videos yet; but I do plan to once I've finished my 2nd playthrough. edit: Anyone who compromises another person's info is a lowlife scumbag who deserves special treatment in the hell dimension they are destined for. Common courtesy dictates you let others reveal what they want, if and when they want.
Ethilin
2022-12-16 15:12:39 +0000 UTC
