Hey everyone!
Added 2024-03-31 17:04:31 +0000 UTC'Nother update and apology again! New Dark Souls 2 episode is uploading at the moment so should be out tonight! I am sorry about the chaos and inconsistency this year so far, honestly things have been very busy and messy irl for me and I am trying to work out... what to do? I really appreciate all of your support and patience and totally understand if anyone wants to back out of pledging at the moment - content hasn't been the best quality and just overall very, very slow. I wish I had a better reason but I think years of juggling work, personal life and creating content on YouTube has caught up with me, big time, and now I can barely handle the workloads I was able to a year ago. I think I am going to take some time to focus on finishing up old series before moving on to new things? But if I am completely honest, I really don't want to do that but I know that I should, haha. I can feel my interests are shifting and currently what I do on the channel isnt making me super happy. I have no motivation and I don't really know what to do to get it back! I have started to see more complaints about co-op videos and less interest in series as I take longer breaks/ change up the pattern but honestly Emma is the only thing keeping me going on YouTube at the moment! I really hope to come back with more videos and a better attitude towards making them soon! I hope I am conveying just how lost I feel, but also how genuinely sorry I am for letting down the people who enjoy and support the videos here!
Comments
Don't know if you want to hear this or not but I've been watching 'let's play' videos for a while in order to catch a break of personal life and I got to say that your content is the most enjoyable of them all. I have never ever considered joined a patreon before and here I am :) I really hope you find tranquility in whatever you do, but know this: if you want some motivation to keep the channel alive, have faith in knowing you are one of the best, most genuine and lovable youtubers out there. Sending hugs from brazil
Victor Corazza
2024-06-13 15:20:02 +0000 UTCI'm really sorry to hear how lost you're feeling. ☹️ Youtube seems like a lot of pressure...and a very confusing thing to navigate. I can't imagine. You and Emma are lucky to have stumbled upon each other...as are we. It's fun to watch you both laughing as you figure things out together. I hope you keep doing (and expressing) what brings you joy and sincerely hope you're doing okay. Burnout is real and unfortunately... relatable. Please don't be too tough on yourself as you sort things out. We're rooting for you!
Grant Gringle
2024-04-01 07:16:28 +0000 UTCSorry to hear it’s been tough, as always i think your videos are great, some of my favourites on YouTube - and the co-ops I think are a great addition too, can’t imagine why anyone would complain about them - but as others have said, gotta put yourself first - good luck
DVHalen
2024-04-01 03:09:45 +0000 UTCIt's completely understandable that everything is stressful and you feel some level of pressure to perform to make your audience happy, but FWIW I think many of us (especially here on Patreon) care more about your health and happiness than we do about getting our money's worth or whatever! It's not a huge expense, speaking as a Very Broke Person, and (doing my best to not make it sound super parasocially weird) I'm happy to pay a small bit of cash each month without caring much about getting regular uploads in return if you feel the need to take a break or something like that! Also, again speaking as a huge DS2 nerd who loves the game, I personally think your co-op videos have been a blast. You help each other get through frustrating bits and IMO it's valuable to show off the co-op bits of Dark Souls games when videos are so often focused on pure "BEHOLD, I HAVE GITTED GUD". I personally love using both NPC and player summons in FromSoft games, and think it's an invaluable part of the game experience that a lot of people aren't even aware of just because it's looked down on by a lot of (honestly annoying) people in the general community.
W. W. Wiklund
2024-03-31 23:06:53 +0000 UTCDo whatever makes you happy. That's what matters the most
David Langston
2024-03-31 22:11:12 +0000 UTCI’ve really enjoyed the co-op stuff for what it’s worth. Loads of creators out there doing solo no-summons, you can find that anywhere. You and Emma have really good chemistry and it’s fun to watch you play together.
Reveilled
2024-03-31 21:35:38 +0000 UTCHey Amber, I'm one who's not in love with the ds2 coop videos, not watching much, but i would not take that as anything else than my interests fluctuating wildly for no reason... (like : wtf depressed brain, i though you like dark souls and now you want to just fall asleep to video of rain noises ... lol) Anyway, just to say that my pledge is not going anywhere and I support you doing what feels right : it's so hard to not burn yourself on passion projects, working late and in the week-end... one week you are high on dopamine from achieving stuff, and the next your brain almost rebels against you for seemingly no reason... so frustrating ... no advice from me except: go with the flow and listen to yourself. Me, I'll keep an open mind about anything you want to produce, as I'm supporting you and your perspective on things anyway...
Enguerrand Leclerc
2024-03-31 21:31:25 +0000 UTCHello you! Content wise, DS2 is really suiting co op anyway, and even if it wasn't, playing with your friend is making you happy, it's been fun to watch. You'd enjoy DS3 much more as a single player experience anyway I think. Secondly, are you actually okay? As someone who's been at the worst of the worst with mental health I know what it's like, do you have people to talk to? It's way more important than anything to do with YouTube. Lastly, if you're just deciding that a YouTube career isn't for you, then hey, that is what it is, you do have a community of people who'd genuinely really miss you, but your happiness is most important :)
Joe Leary
2024-03-31 21:11:06 +0000 UTCI won't speak for anyone else but I would never want to see you putting content out at the cost of your happiness and sanity. It sounds like things are tough right now and if you feel like you're struggling to spin too many plates, then maybe focusing on fewer things could be a good idea at least for now? If less frequent videos or a change up in what you're creating is what is needed then I'm all for it personally. You're not letting anyone down by being honest with yourself. I hope things start looking up for you soon and you know where to find us when needed!
mattbrush3pwood
2024-03-31 21:01:21 +0000 UTCWhen the road leads your soul, let the heart guide your march. 💙
InarteS
2024-03-31 20:59:51 +0000 UTCHi Amber, I’m so sorry you’re not feeling your best :( I hope you’re not being pressured to do stuff you don’t really want to; it is your channel and you are the one putting time and effort into it. Viewers can express their hope for the continuation of a certain series, but they can’t demand it, and if you don’t have fun doing a series anymore, they should respect that. If your interests are shifting, we’ll shift with you ^^ If there are viewers that don’t want to shift, they can watch someone else, no reason for them to pressure you. The videos you’re making with Emma are so lovely and so much fun and they seem to make you really happy! I cannot imagine why anyone wouldn’t want to watch them. I’m always so glad to see a new video pop up, no matter how long the wait, and when I’m really eager, I rewatch one of the dozens and dozens of videos you’ve already put out. ‘Cause you’ve made a lot! You’ve made hundreds more videos than most of us have ever done, don’t forget that! I know I’m a complete stranger on the internet, but I would offer anyone who seems in need: if I/we can help you with anything (anything!), please feel free to ask! Wishing you the very best!
Huib Gelling
2024-03-31 20:12:49 +0000 UTCwe believe in you!! <3
ChilledGricken
2024-03-31 19:18:53 +0000 UTCYeah don't worry about any of that. I'll say that I like the co-op. I've never really had friends that were into games like Dark Souls so I find it a lot of fun watching you and Em playing it together. The dynamic you have together is great. I always watch your video and then if I need something on in the background, I watch her version too lol. I don't really watch a ton of streaming content, but I'll watch you play just about anything just because you're fun and super positive. That said, take care of yourself first. This should be a place for all of us to have fun, you most of all. I for one am not going to cancel my patreon if you don't play exactly the game I want to see when I expect to see it.
Carl Smith
2024-03-31 19:15:49 +0000 UTCYou’re by far my favorite content creator on YouTube, and the only one where I always watch every video to the end. I’m happy to have found your channel. If you need to switch things up or even stop completely, you’ll always have my support! Sometimes that’s just life :)
Gwenifer Cooper
2024-03-31 19:11:05 +0000 UTCThank you so, so much everyone, I am sitting here in tears reading through all these messages! I will try my best to work it out! Also sat here cursing my internet for going so slow tonight haha
Sym
2024-03-31 19:06:54 +0000 UTCLow key, the coop stuff is good fun, especially with DS2 being a bit of a sprawl compared to the first, and the dynamic is fun too ☺️ keep up the good work, for my money your upload schedule is fine.
Don Bernacz
2024-03-31 18:59:14 +0000 UTCYou put out soooo much content last yeah it was borderline unbelievable, so I’m not about to stop supporting you on any platform. You’re by far my favourite content creator, everytime a notification pops up it’s a real treat regardless if they are a day apart or longer. It’s important you do what’s best for you and I’m sure we will still be on here / YouTube / twitch or anywhere else you end up supporting you all the way. I for one wouldn’t be annoyed or let down if you wanted to drop games you’re not enjoying, god knows how many games I’ve played where half way through I wasn’t feeling it anymore. The community you’ve built is grand as well! Take all the time you need The co-op vids have been amazing and the streams have been so much fun, a genuine highlight of the week. I hope the irl stresses get a little easier for you Amber
Capt Doug
2024-03-31 18:33:49 +0000 UTCI love the co-op videos! Best way to play ds2 imo. And you're closer to the end than you think--at least for the base game. (There's a lot of dlc though)
Phil Jacke
2024-03-31 18:22:50 +0000 UTCI personally think you've been putting out more than enough content to be worth supporting here, I'm still catching up on the two mammoth dark souls II videos you put out recently, and the co-op videos with Emma have been a blast so far and a neat change of pace for me personally as a viewer as I've never seen a co-op dark souls let's play before. You are not just your content, so it's not a reflection on yourself personally, even if you aren't putting out as much as you like, as interests do change and it sounds to me like honestly you're facing burnout (I can relate right now myself, just took time off uni due to burnout literally a few hours ago lol), so I'd take it a day at a time, and take care of yourself :) (You've also got ADHD potentially fighting you here, so that's not gonna help if you're interest isn't there, better to prioritise yourself) As far as YouTube goes, for each negative comment there are surely many times more positive ones, and further 1000s of positive comments that were never typed at all (You are certainly one of my favourite content creators I've found in the past couple of years, especially your soulsborne, hollow knight, subnautica, outer wilds and charming-indie-game playthroughs), so take the negative dipsticks with a grain on salt, as unfortunately people are more likely to type something negative than positive. (Perhaps someday you can find a really old guru who can feed you onion and banana juice, open your chakras, and you can receive the pure cosmic energy of the universe so you can enter the Ambertar State at will?)
Johno3998
2024-03-31 18:15:43 +0000 UTCIf what you're doing on the channel isn't making you happy then it's absolutely ok to take a step back and re-evaluate, drop games/series that you're not enjoying and start something new. My favourite series have always been the ones where you seem to love the game (Bloodborne and Hollow Knight spring immediately to mind) your enjoyment and interest in those games came across on those videos, enhancing the viewing experience. If you're not enjoying certain games at the moment then that will come across too. I feel it's always going to be better to focus on what you want to play, not what others want you to play or what you feel you should play. You also have a fair few supporters now, and while I can only speak for myself I do feel that the majority of people will be patient and still support whilst you take the time to figure out what's next. I've fallen a little behind on the DS2 series but catching up slowly as and when life allows! But I've been enjoying the series immensely, you and Emma make such a great and funny pairing, absolutely peak viewing! Unfortunately there will always be people that complain or don't enjoy a particular series or game, you can't please everybody so don't stress yourself out trying. Take time and take care of yourself, we'll still be here when you're ready 🧡
Human#19138980
2024-03-31 17:45:29 +0000 UTCit's ok to focus on yourself! your health takes priority over the channel every time. i'm really sorry to hear that you have no motivation for the channel :c, i think you should just stick to what you enjoy making, this should be fun at the end of the day you're not letting us down, you're a human being and stuff like this happens, the wait is always worth it regardless, thank you for all you do!
ChilledGricken
2024-03-31 17:37:23 +0000 UTCI love the co-op videos, no complaints from me! The more fun you're having the more fun we're having too. Taking care of yourself is always the most important thing.
Bonnie
2024-03-31 17:35:03 +0000 UTCTake whatever time you need Amber. You're patrons are here for you. And the coop videos with Emma have been fantastic and so fun! I sincerely hope that we see more of you and her in future series as well.
Ozziej88
2024-03-31 17:32:44 +0000 UTCHey, take the time you need. I definitely understand what it's like to have difficulties in life, too, and have spent years wondering why I even keep at it. You're awesome, but if you need a break then you need a break. Try to avoid true burnout- it's very hard to recover from. As for changing tastes, I think many come because it's great watching you enjoy games. I personally find more enjoyment when you're having fun than when you're just pushing through for "popular content." Regardless what you decide, hope things get better soon
Jay Morrorless
2024-03-31 17:32:12 +0000 UTCThanks for the transparency again Amber What kind of complaints are you seeing about the co-op series? I haven't seen any myself. Because to be honest, the only ding I have is the regularity of uploads. The content itself is very fun, plus for DS2, it's what you really need with all the ganks. The only recommendation I have really is to separate Emma's run from yours. It gives me an incentive to watch Emma's videos too if I want to focus on her side. So every time you go back to help each other out, it doesn't result in us having to watch the same runback again.
JustlookingCQ
2024-03-31 17:27:18 +0000 UTCI’m proud of you for focusing on yourself! You do what you need to do, Amber! We’re all behind you here. 💛
Mackthecatdad
2024-03-31 17:22:33 +0000 UTCPledging to something like Patreon is for moral support when times are tough, not just for the bonuses when the content is flowing. I'm sure you've helped a lot of people here through tough times, sad and boring days, whatever else, on loads of occasions. Come back fully when you're feeling ready, I'm confident you've got most people here's support in the meantime!
Andy
2024-03-31 17:22:30 +0000 UTCI'm sorry you feel this way. I think that you what you need, and I'm just happy if you do and play what make you happy. I'm here for it all and don't plan to go anywhere. You're videos with Emma are great, future co-ops would be fun as well. The most important is your health and that you feel that you have fun doing it! Need to take some time? Then you need to take some time! Hope you find your mojo again. Love your videos, love hanging out on streams and see what you do next. Best wishes /Solifis
solifis
2024-03-31 17:22:07 +0000 UTCPlease take care of yourself Amber! We love your videos but also you and we will absolutely still be here whenever you feel better! Let us know if there's anything we can do to support you! (I'll just keep watching my favorite series of yours in the meantime!) 💛
Allen Williamson
2024-03-31 17:21:53 +0000 UTCYou aren’t letting us down! No matter how lost you feel, we’ll still continue to support you. For us this isn’t something transactional, we pledge because we enjoy you as a person and we want to do what we can to support you in whatever you’re doing. Take as many breaks and as much time as you need. We’ll still be here.
IAmSpartacus
2024-03-31 17:19:10 +0000 UTCYou are not letting anyone down, at least not me! Taking time to sort things out is always a good thing. And I have loved the coop episodes, how you guys progress, trading off enemies, working to open up bonfires on each other’s instances.
Daniel
2024-03-31 17:14:14 +0000 UTCHi Amber, I love your DS2 co-op videos! I’ve struggled through a fair bit of the game and it looks like so much more fun in co-op.
Rob Campbell
2024-03-31 17:13:41 +0000 UTCNo worries Amber, focus on yourself first and make content that you enjoy making!
Zach
2024-03-31 17:12:15 +0000 UTC
