[REND] B2. 18.3 - Trees and Revelations

(Author’s Notes: This increases the advanced chapters for Patreon.)

I followed Deen to the dark nowhere, wondering if I should just turn around and get captured by the BID. Oh, right. I was an Adumbrae. They’d kill me. I had decided that I should get this over with, so I should stick to that decision.

But I really don’t want to, I whined in my head.

I’d be in my most hated position: being on the defensive. Deen would ask me to explain why I hid my secret for so long. She’d make it a big deal that I didn’t trust her. It was logical not to trust others with my secret—the vast majority of people would report me to the BID—but Deen would be adamant that she was different. That I should’ve trusted her because we were best friends. This kind of confrontation sucked because Deen would be pointing out my ‘mistakes’ and that I didn’t value our friendship.

Would’ve been better if Myra found out my secret. I could lie about turning into an Adumbrae at the warehouse and blame Kelsey for it, and by extension, Myra as well. That’d be fun for me. I’d put someone else on the spot. Make them feel bad and enjoy watching them squirm with guilt.

In contrast, Deen would make me feel bad. She’d be all the drama queen and act hurt, crap like that. I’d be the one put on trial.

What if I just killed her? Bury Deen in the forest and just forget about it. No one knew that we went together after leaving the PCM base.

But her Guardian Angel would alert her to my evil intentions.

Oh, well.

Thankfully, Deen didn’t talk as we ran. The clouds cleared up a bit, revealing more of the moon and stars, lighting our way a bit more. The trees were also spaced further on this rocky terrain. Fewer chances of tripping, which happened to Deen earlier. Her brain was probably fried by my revelation that she just tuned out her Guardian Angel.

“Gabe has been silent for some time,” Deen said. 

“Whoa! Uh, you suddenly talked…”

“Why did that surprise you?”

“I, um, I was thinking about a lot of things. Anyway, does that mean we’re safe now? What do we do next?” If Deen took the lead, maybe she’d postpone our discussion.

“Why don’t you tell me, boss?” Deen injected a lot of venom into that last word. “You seem to have a plan for everything, including keeping secrets from me. I demand an explanation.”

Okay, my idea didn’t work. Ignoring Deen’s bitchy attitude, I peered over the steep fall to our left. Rocks. More rocks. And lots of shadows. “Is it safe to go down here?” I wondered. “Maybe we can find a little nook to hide and discuss things. What do you think?”

Deen snorted. “Oh, you’re asking for my input now? Does that mean you actually trust me? Then you should’ve told me about—”

“Get angry at me later.” Without waiting for her reply, I hopped down on the side of the hill. I slipped because it was fucking dark and skidded to a bunch of jagged rocks, which were waiting to worsen my night. “Ow! That hurts!”

I bounced against boulders like a pinball, rolling much further down into darkness.

“These fu—” I bit my tongue to avoid swearing. Despite the crazy things that had happened so far, I still had to stick to my face. Deen already knew that I was an Adumbrae, but that didn’t change the face I wore that barely swore. Is that a rhyme?

“Erind! Are you okay?” From angry, Deen instantly switched to concerned. She climbed down after me.

“I-I’m fine,” I said, picking myself up. No injuries, but my body slightly ached in places. A fall like that would’ve probably killed a normal human. “It’s really dark here. I’ll have to do this.”

“Do what?” Deen asked as she dropped next to me. “Golden liquid? I was right that there’s something wrong with your hand.”

I didn’t will the liquid to form either into my Blanchette or Pino masks. Deen would resume pestering me with questions if I did that. At least I wanted to sit while explaining shit. Swirling above my palm, the liquid gave off a decent amount of light, helping us explore the bottom of the hill.

We soon found a suitable hiding spot, a large but narrow crack in the rock face, about ten feet deep. Its entrance was covered by a huge tree and some bushes. We wouldn’t have chanced upon this place if I hadn’t fallen nearby. Acting like she was taking charge, Deen entered first, squealing when a snake slithered out. I had to stifle my giggles. Lucky for Deen, no other animals were hiding inside besides insects that scurried away from the light.

“Put that away,” Deen said, pointing at the golden liquid I had summoned. “It might give off… Adumbrae signals? I don’t know. But it’s best not to risk it.”

“Okay, okay.” The golden liquid disappeared, and we were plunged into darkness. Well, it wasn’t really that dark, as another source of light illuminated our hidey hole. “Your Core?”

Deen took off her shirt and ripped the bottom part of her sports bra so that the artificial Core on her chest could give us light. “You’ve mentioned that it’s always activated. Here’s putting it to good use. Gabe’s not saying anything against this.”

“Do you want me to expose my Core, too? Um, I’m not sure about undressing…”

“Erind.” Deen cupped my right hand in both of hers. She ran her fingers across my palm, feeling the crystals and the metallic skin. “I know that you’re stalling. It’s time that you tell me everything. No more secrets.”

It was unnerving to hear Deen talk so gently when she was grandly pissed off at me a few minutes ago. “You’re right. I owe you the truth. I turned into an Adumbrae at the warehouse, after we were kidnapped…”

With this, I had a uniform origin story—I told the same narrative with Kelsey to tangentially blame her for my seeding. There was no need for Deen to know that I almost died during the Adumbrae attack at the train station, resulting in Spooky Erind helping me out. Telling a bit of a lie made me comfortable again. In control. There was an urge inside me to make up stories.

“The Adumbrae offered me power,” I said, not elaborating about Spooky Erind. “I took it. And that was the first time I turned into Blanchette.”

“Blanchette. Didn’t you mention that it was the name of the girl in a version of Little Red Riding Hood?”

“Technically, the girl wore a golden hood or something. It’s the only version of that story where the girl had a name. Back to my story. See? I’m not diverting the topic.”

“You’re not, you’re not,” said Deen, chuckling.

“Anyway, after transforming, I fought the guys who kidnapped us. Though I-I can’t recall much of it.”

“Don’t force yourself to. It must be a painful memory. You must’ve been so scared. You were just seeded, and you were eat—erm, sorry. Then, you met Dario? Fortunately, you’ve returned to your original body by then.”

“I didn’t know how I managed to do that. All I was thinking was that I needed to save you,” I explained, wanting Deen to continue thinking of me as a hero. The truth was that Blanchette’s instincts were pushing me to eat Deen. It really was lucky that I wrestled control of my mind and took off my mask.

“Thank you… so much,” Deen said in a trembling voice. “That’s the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.”

“Really? I mean, I guess? I did save your—woah!”

Deen hugged me. The mini cave turned dark as Deen’s Core was sandwiched between our bodies. Her Core rubbed against mine, giving me the most grating sensation. Worse than nails on a chalkboard. I wasn’t sure if it was just my body reacting super negatively to an invasion of my personal space, but a slight electric shock radiated from my Core when it touched Deen’s Core.

“Thank you so much, Erind. God, I hope you’re truly you.” Deen caressed my hair and cradled the back of my head with her right hand.

“I’m me…” I said with tensed jaws.

I glued my arms to my flanks so I wouldn’t sock Deen’s jaw for being this fucking close to me—not that her Guardian Angel would allow my fist to connect. Her stupid perfume was up my nose! Crazy blonde warming me with her body heat. We weren’t doing that kind of scene here. Yeah, we were in a cave. But we weren’t freezing to death or something.

Deen separated a bit from me to look at my face painted with golden light from her Core. Bowing down, she touched our foreheads. I couldn’t lean away because she held my head. I internally shouted, pretending I was a banshee in my head. This is torture!

“Can you honestly tell me that you’re in control?”

“Yes. The Adumbrae isn’t even talking in my head.” I looked Deen in the eye, our eyeballs barely a couple of inches apart. What did this bitch think she was doing? Was she hoping to see if I was telling the truth just from examining my eyes? That wasn’t a real thing!

“Can I see your Core?”

“Excuse me?”

“I want to see your Core.”

I blinked. “Like, you want me to undress?”

“I’ll help you,” Deen said, misunderstanding my hesitation. She scooted back, allowing me to breathe air that wasn’t contaminated by the exhaled carbon dioxide of another person. Unfortunately, Deen was dead serious about examining my Core. She started to pull my shirt up.

I guess this is happening, I thought as I raised my arms so she could remove my shirt over my head. Made me feel like a kid getting undressed by my mom.

Deen dug her fingers into the bottom band of my sports bra.

I stopped her from pulling it up. “I don’t think that’s necessary,” I quickly said. Instead, I pulled down my left strap so I could adjust the front cleavage height and reveal my Core.

It had only a fraction of the glow of Deen’s Core, its whitish surface flecked with many different colors, seemingly giving off sparkles like pollens of a disturbed flower. Deen touched my skin around the Core. It was wrinkly, with veins from the Core branching out from under my skin. I shivered with repulsion under her touch.

To distract Deen from noticing my reaction, I said, “I was surprised that I was able to meld with the Core despite being an Adumbrae. Maybe because it’s an artificial one? Who knows how the Professor made them?”

Deen wasn’t listening. She placed her hand on my Core, completely covering it. “Warm.”

“Uh, yeah?”

With her other hand, Deen took mine and placed it on her Core. No doubt, Deen thought that we were having a moment. “I can feel our connection,” she said, probably being delusional. “At the docks… Our Cores called out to each other. That’s why you stopped rampaging.”

“Isn’t that proof that I’m really me? The Core is slowing down my seeding.” I explained that I’d sometimes get flare-ups of transformations, especially after using my Adumbrae powers. However, a day or two later, the Core would reverse the changes.

“A cure?” Deen wondered. “An actual cure for seeding?”

“Maybe. Much better than what the PCM got.” We were still holding each other Cores like total idiots. This scene shouldn’t be this long.

Was it okay if I stopped? I tried to lower my hand, but Deen held it in place.

“The Core,” said Deen. “You had to meld with it, or Dario would’ve discovered that you were an Adumbrae. But it turned out that it’s helping you.” She tilted her head, raising a brow at me. “You were already an Adumbrae with a superhuman body. How did—?”

“I stabbed my chest so that the Core could take root because it couldn’t pierce my skin.”

Deen gasped. “You were doing that beside me?” She leaned forward to hug me again. Annoying. The bright side was that we stopped that lame Core-holding shtick. “I’m so sorry, Erind.”

“What are you apologizing for?” Another wave of tingling disgust went up my sides as Deen disgustingly cried on my shoulders. Getting captured by the BID was looking like the better option now. I should probably list Deen’s actions up for future retribution, adding them to her earlier slap.

“I didn’t know… I didn’t know that you were suffering that much,” Deen said, sobbing. Such a crybaby. “At that time, I was thinking of how to protect you. I was so useless! I’m so useless. If only you told me earlier.”

This was the Deen that I knew. “I didn’t want to burden you with this.” Here we go. This was the route to take control of the situation. Be the martyr rather than the untrusting best friend.

“You kept everything to yourself.” Deen let go of me as she wiped her eyes.

Then she did that bullshit forehead-touching thing again. I begrudgingly admitted that it made for an awesome, dramatic moment between friends being closer with each other. Maybe add in some melancholic music. But I hated this from the bottom of my black heart! Man, this bordered on cheesy.  

“You should’ve told me that you were Blanchette after our docks mission,” Deen softly said. She was so close that I could feel the air coming out of her mouth. Shadows concealed much of her face because the light came from below her chin. “I was focused only on my suffering, agonizing over the innocent people that I had killed, that I didn’t notice your pain. You must’ve suffered so much, too. I wasn’t able to comfort you.”

My suffering in the aftermath of the docks mission was putting up with depressed Deen. Super downer.

“Don’t think about the past anymore,” I said. “What’s important is that you know my secret now.”

“Promise that you’ll tell me when the Adumbrae talks to you again. I’ll be there to support you.”

“I will.” Nope, I won’t.

(Author's Notes: We learn more of Erind's odd mindset and misplaced priorities. Book 2’s end is a huge departure from that of Book 1 and the books of the Prior Cycle because we don’t have a huge battle. Instead, we have an “emotional” moment (heavy use of quotes) between Erind and Deen. Making Deen toxic is the way I've come up with to balance out Erind's psychopathy. Otherwise, if Deen is normal, she'd be the oppressed one in their dynamic. Thanks for your support!)