[REND] 11.3 - Marshy Rowy Reunion
Added 2025-06-25 13:44:31 +0000 UTCOverdrive
Overdrive’s eyelid uncontrollably twitched when he saw a message from Jim Ambrose pop up on his phone. That literal metallic dick couldn’t help but ruin Overdrive’s good time.
[ Jim Ambrose: 12 next week. Don’t be late. ]
Twelve more people? So soon? Those bastards were chewing through the homeless population of La Esperanza like munching on a corn on the cob. Their demands on him were increasing lately.
Could they not understand that a dozen people shouldn’t disappear in a week? Having cops on their payroll could only delay the investigations so much. Probably, should search for a place out of town or even hit another city.
Dillon should be in charge of this—Overdrive’s trusted lieutenant just had to get himself killed a few days ago. Dillon was like a brother to Overdrive. But Overdrive couldn’t understand why Dillon killed Teflon’s guy while collecting debt payments. If that was a show of power, Dillon should’ve brought muscle along for intimidation.
Killing a distributor hurts their business. Now, Overdrive was forced to punish Teflon’s group. As much as he hated this, he had to do it to show the others that they couldn’t cross him. More business losses.
Smart Dillon finally did something dumb. Probably let the power get to his head. Overdrive admitted that he noticed Dillon was getting too full of himself as they raked the greens.
“What’s the prob, boss?” asked Tommy Gee, someone half as smart as Dillon.
Overdrive waved his phone. “It’s Jim Ambrose,” He sighed as his neuro-aug implants flooded his body with inhibitors, calming him. He required higher and higher doses to put a clamp on stress and anxiety.
Tea Party’s Doc warned him that he shouldn’t rely on it too much, or he’d eventually be immune, his nerves shot up for good. But what could he do? The pressure from getting stuck between Big Marcy and the Tea Party was too much. Overdrive couldn’t function without the inhibitors.
“They’re asking for warm bodies again?” Tommy Gee used a small blade to arrange blue powder into neat lines on the glass table. “Dillon’s supposed to—”
“I know,” Overdrive interjected through tensed jaws. His teeth hurt at times. It could be from the drugs. It could be from clenching his jaws at night. “Dillon can’t get me people if he’s inside a morgue freezer.”
“Boss, why can’t we just move away?” asked the rat-faced Biter. “I know you owe Jim Ambrose and his bosses for this.” Biter gestured at their hideout. “But if we’re not here, we don’t owe them this shit, right? They’ll just take all of this as payment like… like…” He snapped his fingers while his face was contorted in serious thought.
“A bank foreclosing a home,” Tommy Gee added. “Yeah, boss. You’ve made more than enough money for them. We can start again in another city. We don’t need them.”
“Not this talk again,” Overdrive said, groaning. “We’re staying here, and that’s that.”
His debt to Big Marcy was not a chain around his neck; his debt to the Tea Party was. In return for the augments that saved his life, he was now working for them. He was like an expensive smart car in his garage that could be shut down by the manufacturer if the licenses were voided. Meeting Big Marcy and getting into debt with him was all an act. Jim Ambrose thought Overdrive had become his underling, ordering him around to supply the warm bodies for their games in the arena. All for the sake of eventually meeting Mark, Big Marcy's younger brother and the true head of the organization. Dillon was the only one who knew, and now he was gone.
At times, Overdrive thought of pulling the wires and tubes from the ports all over his bony body. It’d be so easy to exit this bullshit world. But he was afraid of dying. Most people were, too, right?
“I got an idea, boss!” Biter exclaimed. “Teflon’s group.”
“What about them?” asked Overdrive, snapping out of his suicidal thoughts.
“Warm bodies! You need twelve? Teflon and his boy are, uh, six. Seven?”
“Seven,” Tommy Gee said before bending down and inhaling a line. “Woah! That’s the good stuff.” He wiped his nose and added, “Yeah, boss. Just give Teflon’s group to Jim Ambrose. Free up our storage room. They’re just stinking up the place there.”
“We should’ve made a dungeon,” Biter said. “This is our castle, and it’s lacking a dungeon.”
“This is my castle!” Overdrive slammed his metal fist on the granite table, scattering Tommy Gee’s powder. Yet another crack on the expensive table. “What I say goes here! And I’m saying that Teflon will pay for what he did—I’ll see it with my own eyes. If I give him to Jim Ambrose, I won’t witness his death.”
“Sorry, boss. I was just suggesting,” whined Biter. “We’ll get the bodies for—huh?”
The door opened. The humongous Moogu woke up with a start and heaved his flabby stature to check who it was. Chewie poked his head in. “Hey, boss, there is somebody who wants to see you. A girl. Says she has information about Dillon's death.”
The hell was this now? Overdrive leaned forward, his oversized designer shirt draping over his slight frame. “Let her in, but stay on guard. It can be Teflon's setup.”
Chewie entered the room, bowing as a greeting. A short and petite girl in a red hoodie and a white face mask followed after him, slightly shivering and twitching her fingers. A middle schooler?
“She might be Teflon’s sister or niece or something,” Chewie said.
“Hey, remember what Teflon said?” Tommy Gee blurted, rising from the table. “A woman wearing a red hoodie might’ve witnessed what happened to Dillon? That was actually true?”
“Little girl, you really shouldn’t be here.” Overdrive sighed. He had a weakness for children. They shouldn’t be part of the cruel underworld. He’d been forced into this life and sympathized with others in the same situation. “Anyway, you wanted to tell me something?”
“Tattoo—I mean, Teflon’s innocent,” she said in a soft voice.
Overdrive clicked his tongue. Teflon was probably taking care of this kid. But Overdrive didn’t have a choice in this situation. “I don’t care who’s Teflon to you. If you’re begging for his life, it’s not going to work. He killed Dillon. Life for a life—that’s how it is.”
“It wasn’t Teflon.” She looked straight into Overdrive’s eyes.
“May not have been actually him,” said Overdrive. “One of his guys. What it comes down to, girlie, is that Teflon’s group did it because Dillon killed Fender.”
“That’s not what happened,” said the girl.
“Fine. Tell us your story. Fuckin’ Teflon putting up kids for his alibi. Get on with it.”
The girl timidly nodded. “It ha-happened last Monday. I was walking through Marsh Row. It was late evening. I meet Teflon’s group. I didn’t know who they were, and I was scared of them. But they were nice to me. So nice that Beanie—uh, Fender. He was wearing a beanie then. Fender followed me to make sure I was safe.”
“You’re going to tell me to forgive them because they were nice to you?”
“N-no! Um, there was another guy who followed me—Dillon. He’s your subordinate or something, right?”
“He is, yeah,” said Overdrive. He was getting some off vibes with this girl.
“Dillon was very much a creep and wanted to assault me.” The girl’s tone became more direct.
Overdrive could believe that Dillon might do something like that. “Girlie, if you’re trying to—”
“Fender tried to stop him,” the girl continued. “But Dillon pointed a gun at him.”
“Ah, I see,” said Tommy Gee, snapping his fingers. “That’s how their fight started.”
“Then they fought for the gun?” Overdrive asked. “Fender killed Dillon. Maybe Fender was—”
“No. Fender didn’t kill Dillon,” the girl interjected.
“Huh?” Overdrive felt his heart pounding, and he didn’t know why. Something was wrong. “Who did it?”
The girl gave him an innocent smile. “I did. I killed Dillon. Also, Fender.”
“Wha-what?” Overdrive didn’t know if he should laugh at her crazy claim. Tommy Gee, Biter, and Chewie laughed. Moogu just stared blankly. “How could a tiny girl like you kill that tough bastard Dillon?” Overdrive joined in the laughter. “What are you, an Adumbrae or something?”
“Well, yes,” the girl replied. “How did you know?”
Silence.
“The fuck?” Biter said. “Weird kid.”
Now, everyone looked confused, staring at each other, unsure of what to do. “What kind of nonsense shit are you saying?” Overdrive started to say.
“Enough of the jokes, girlie,” Chewie said. “Sorry, boss. I shouldn’t have brought—”
“I am an Adumbrae,” said the girl in a clear voice.
Overdrive looked at Chewie, who placed his hand on his gun. He felt it too? Danger. There was something uncanny in the way an innocent voice spoke a line like that. Overdrive thought this was a prank, but the fact that this was continuing made him wary. It didn’t make sense.
“Why do you look surprised now?” the girl asked. “You said it yourself."
Overdrive’s implants were about to pump inhibitors again, but he countermanded it, switching them to release artificial adrenaline. A short, harmless-looking girl was in front of them, but his instincts screamed danger.
“Want me to repeat it?” said the girl. “I am an—”
“Ah!” Chewie pointed his submachine gun at her and fired.
The girl reached for the gun and crumpled its front half with her bare hands as Chewie fired. Bangs followed as shrapnel flew. Chewie staggered back while screaming, his arms bloodied. Moogu swung his sledgehammer fist crackling with electricity. She met the punch, her tiny fist shattering Moogu’s arm. Then she punched Moogu’s stomach, burying her fist several inches into the fatty flesh.
Overdrive aimed his metal hand at the girl. Biter and Tommy Gee also had their guns out. But they didn’t shoot. The girl had pulled down Moogu and used him as a human shield. Her right hand grasped Moogu’s crown, her fingers peeling back the skin of his bald head. Their giant friend groaned in pain.
“I’d rather not kill any of you,” the girl said. “Okay, I’m fine with killing. But if you don’t give me a reason, you’ll all survive this night.”
“Shoot through me, boss….” Moogu moaned.
“No need for that.” The girl moved Moogu around like a giant stuffed toy. Overdrive’s arm shivered as he aimed. She smiled. “Do you have an aim assist in your eye? Isn't that cheating? Want to gamble on shooting my head? That’s the weakness of us Adumbrae, right? Supposedly. If you do hit me, and I don’t die, then that’s the end of all of you.”
She’s right, Overdrive grimaced.
“But so long as you don’t do anything stupid,” she said, “you all have a chance to live.”
“Did Big Marcy send you?” Overdrive hadn’t finished the sentence when he knew that wasn’t possible. Big Marcy wouldn’t bother with this. If Big Marcy wanted anything from Overdrive, Jim Ambrose would barge right in.
“Big Marcy? Ah, no. I’m an Adumbrae doing my own thing. Not part of any group.”
“Yo-you’re really a-an Adumbrae?” Overdrive regretted not accepting Doc’s offer for additional scanners for his left bionic eye. Overdrive didn’t have any more upgrades than necessary.
He didn’t need a scanner because the girl was ready to prove her claim.
She pulled up her face mask to expose her mouth while still covering the middle of her face. She bit the index finger of her left hand clean off, flesh and bones and all. Her blood streaked her pale lips like lipstick.
She held up her hand missing a finger for all to see while still mostly hiding behind a semi-conscious Moogu. She had a huge smile as if the pain of cutting her finger didn’t bother her.
“Ahh!” Biter yelled.
“Don’t shoot!” Overdrive shouted. “Don’t fucking shoot or we’re dead.”
“Holy shit…” Tommy Gee whispered as a small nub grew out of the bloody stump.
A few seconds more, and a bone had formed. Flesh crept up the white material to cover it. Overdrive saw it in full detail with the zoom feature of his eye. He flooded his system with inhibitor chemicals as his heart started to pound. An Adumbrae! They were fucked!
The girl spat out her finger and fixed her mask. She showed them the finger and wiggled it. “Infinite fingers.”
Overdrive couldn’t understand why an Adumbrae suddenly showed up. “Are you… Are you one of Big Marcy’s—?”
“No. I’m not one of those fake ones. No one knows about me, that’s why I’m keeping my identity secret. Just call me Red Hood.”
“Not… fake?”
“A real one, dummy,” she said. “How hard is that to understand? I became an Adumbrae the natural way. Naturally unnatural. You all look like you’ve seen a monster. Oh, wait. That’s me.” She giggled. “Anyway, there’s no need to be scared. I’m very reasonable.”
“What do you want?” Overdrive demanded, flipping through the possibilities.
This girl, Red Hood, could be one of Big Marcy’s Adumbrae acting on her own. To what end? He couldn’t fathom. Or she could be telling the truth, and they were talking to a real Adumbrae, a monster from another world, operating on no rhyme or reason of humans.
“I want to… right a wrong. Like, I want you to let Teflon and his friends go because they’re innocent. They also lost a member of their group, same as you did. The difference is that this is Dillon’s fault.”
“I’m sorry! We’re all sorry,” Overdrive said. This was no longer about Dillon. If anything, Overdrive was angry at Dillon for poking a bear with a stick. Worse than a bear—an actual Adumbrae! This was about survival. He was willing to say anything that could make this Adumbrae leave. “Right, guys?”
Biter and Tommy Gee eagerly nodded, mumbling their agreement.
Overdrive lowered his arm. “Put down your weapons,” he hissed at his men. They complied. Overdrive put on a trembling smile. “Yeah, we’ll release Teflon.” If this monster were interested in Teflon, then maybe Overdrive could use him as a shield.
“Not just him,” said Red Hood.
“Of course! Teflon’s gang is free. Tommy Gee’s going to get them back there. No tricks, I swear. Tommy, go!” Overdrive smiled again as Tommy fell to the floor in his hurry to reach the storage room. “Again, I’m truly sorry for what Dillon had done. There’s no need to kill us.”
“Don’t give me a reason to,” she said.
What fucking bad luck this was! Overdrive raged at the deceased Dillon in his head. This was more trouble than when Dillon shot the wrong guy when they used to be hitmen.
Or… could it be good luck?
The girl mentioned she wasn’t part of any group. Was it possible to gain her as an ally? She could be the ticket to escaping the bullshit sandwich that was Big Marcy and the Tea Party. It wouldn’t hurt to try… but it’d truly hurt if he made a mistake.
But this was his only chance of fighting back.
Comments
- I'll just remove "What the hell are they doing". And add hitting out of town. I'll edit the next line too. It was only a few people until recently. That was what I was trying to express here. I'll tweak it. - OD thinks that Dillon died due to an issue with the debt, not that Teflon was working for someone else. I'll add an explanation about the delay killing Teflon that OD's hesitating but he has to do it so other distributors wouldn't think of betraying them. - OD and his guys are buddies before they became this group, so he's complaining to them about Jim. It's a different dynamics compared to Big Marcy and his underlings for example. That's why along OD's underlings say they can start over somewhere else. As weird as it sounds, I'm injecting humanity into them. They're just a random group of friends that got swept up in the flow of criminality. Compared to let's say someone recruited by a mob boss. So OD is with this friends/underlings here. That said, most criminals don't really talk "all gangsta". And I'm again gambling here on having humanity in them. Kind of like how people liked Teflon's gang. I'm really not sure about this, but we'll see how readers react to them and I'll edit them accordingly with your suggestions depending on what happens. - Thanks for the rewrite of OD's info dump. Mine was awkward. - Also, many thanks for your suggestions. I edited the chapter, taking into account your inputs. Took bout an hour or so, but this reads much better. - We'll be keeping side povs to a minimum. I think that so long as they connect to Erind, they'll be fine.
Temple (REND)
2025-07-03 04:24:37 +0000 UTCThanks for the help proofreading!
Temple (REND)
2025-07-03 02:01:40 +0000 UTCThe kidnapped people are used for sport, just some for experiments. I suppose they want actual people to be in their arenas instead of clones for more morbid entertainment.
Temple (REND)
2025-07-03 02:01:19 +0000 UTCTwelve more people? Those bastards were chewing through the homeless population of La Esperanza like munching on a corn on the cob. What the hell were they doing in their arena? Their demands on him were increasing lately. - If I understand correctly, this is from the perspective of a very cynical character who is a human trafficker. So, there is no need to ask questions about the arena. Instead, he should be focusing on his "business" and risks. For example, "After those two idiots managed to get killed, a dozen bums disappearing would draw unwanted attention from the police. Probably, should search for a place out of town or even hit another city." How many times did he have to explain that it was impossible to kidnap a dozen people weekly? - I suggest not making it a norm. For example, there would be only 2-4 people per week normally, but this time, it is suddenly this many. Overdrive loved Dillon like the brother he never had -> Dillon was like a brother to Overdrive. Now, Overdrive was forced to punish Teflon's group. - I think it would be better if Overdrive decide that the Teflon's group is working for somebody else and needs to be eliminated, but he has to wait until the police stops searching around. Overdrive waved his phone. "It's Jim Ambrose," He sighed as his neuro-aug implants flooded his body with inhibitors, calming him. - A criminal boss complaining to his underlings does not seem right. He is a person of power and can not show any weakness in his character. "Boss, why can't we just move away?" asked the rat-faced Biter. "I know you owe Jim Ambrose and his bosses for this." - That's not how a criminal would talk. If you want to keep the piece of exposition, maybe smth like "That fucking Ambrose thinks that he can give us this hole and ask for a dozen subjects? He should come up with something better." "A bank foreclosing a home," Tommy Gee added. "Yeah, boss. You've made more than enough money for them. We can start again in another city. We don't need them." - That does not sound like a bunch of violent criminals talking. I suggest, "They are like loan sharks. They've been milking us dry long enough. Let's ditch them and move to another city. Somewhere out of their reach." Overdrive didn't want to tell them that it wasn't his debt to Big Marcy - This and the next paragraphs are really awkward. My suggestion: His debt to Big Marcy was not a chain around his neck; his debt to the Tea Party was. In return for the augments that saved his life, he was now working for them. He was like an expensive smart car in his garage that could be shut down by the manufacturer if the licenses were voided. Meeting Big Marcy and getting into debt with him was all an act. Jim Ambrose thought Overdrive became his underling, ordering him around to supply the warm bodies for their games in the arena. All for the sake of eventually meeting Mark, Big Marcy's younger brother and the true head of the organization. Dillon was the only one who knew, and now he was gone. The door opened. The humongous Moogu woke up with a start and heaved his flabby stature to check who it was. Chewie came in, bowing as a greeting, followed by a teenage boy wearing a red hoodie. This boy was wearing a face mask and had his hood pulled low. - Yeah, no. They can not just barge in with a new person into this meeting. First, somebody should inform the boss that there is this person who calls herself Red Hood and claims to know about Teflon and Dillon. Then, he should go ahead and let her in. The whole scene could be way cooler: 1) "Hey boss, there is somebody, a girl. She says she has information about Dillon's death." 2) "Let her in, but stay on guard. It can be Teflon's setup." 3) A timid girl in a red hoody and a white face mask entered the room, slightly shivering and twitching her fingers. 4) "So, you wanted to tell me something?" 5) "Yes,... em.. sir. Sorry, I'm not sure how.." - "Get straight to the point. I don't have time for this. Who do you work for?" - "I don't work for anybody, I am a student... I was walking, it was late evening... several days ago. I saw several people... there was some kind of an argument. One of them was called Dillon. I saw who killed him." - "And? Who did that?" - "I did." - Very dramatic and in line with B-movies. So, instead of first admitting to the kill, she can tell the whole story and leave the big reveal to the very end. Then: "How could a tiny girl like you kill that tough bastard Dillon? What are you, an Adumbrae or something?" - "Well, yes. How did you know?" - "????" - "I am an Adumbrae... why do you look surprised now? You said it yourself." "Do you have a tracking system in your eye" - I think you meant an aiming system. I would say, "Do you have an aim assist in your eye? Isn't that cheating?" What fucking bad luck this is! -> What fucking bad luck this was! The Adumbrae mentioned she wasn't part of any group. - I suggest he should call her "the girl" in his head throughout the encounter. This will highlight how she looks to him, not a scary monster but a little girl, though with a lot of power. "This should've been an Erind POV chapter. But then I had an idea. I planned for Erind to get involved more in the criminal underground, so why not start now?" - The problem with many different perspectives is that it is tough to write because you need to develop the language for every character, their internal monologue, their reasoning. I advise against doing it too often and sticking to the perspective of somewhat developed characters.
Karp Paul
2025-06-30 04:22:09 +0000 UTCtypo Overdrive admitted that he noticed Dillon noticed he was getting too full of himself as they raked the greens. Dillon noticed should not be there
Toffi coffe
2025-06-28 03:37:57 +0000 UTCSomething else i've noticed, if the red island is supposed to have all these high tech Labs where they make mutants, parasites etc. , why do they still need to kidnap random People of the street? Couldn’t they just clone them and get a steady supply?
Klakkers
2025-06-27 10:30:30 +0000 UTC- They wouldn't think a girl would just enter their base haha. If Erind didn't have her hood up, they'd see her hair. - Yeah, fleshing out the lore. And we get a possible pawn for Erind to use in Overdrive. - That'll be fun someday, Erind practicing evil speeches in front of a mirror. - I really had planned for Erind to have her own gang someday, but that got incredibly derailed in the original version lol. - I think in the previous version it would've been through Bianca. But this is a way easier and more logical start. - Yep, definitely dark humor. - Thanks for the help!
Temple (REND)
2025-06-26 23:58:38 +0000 UTCIn some ways, there'll be some elements of Ainz from Overlord, the accidental genius in strategy.
Temple (REND)
2025-06-26 23:54:41 +0000 UTCThanks for the support!
Temple (REND)
2025-06-26 23:54:06 +0000 UTCThe 'the' in front of BM was the mistake. Thanks for spotting it!
Temple (REND)
2025-06-26 23:53:41 +0000 UTCMaybe Overdrive has inhibitors to prevent shitting himself XD
Temple (REND)
2025-06-26 23:48:28 +0000 UTCThanks for your kind words! Erind will be iconic someday in the webnovel world, I can feel it.
Temple (REND)
2025-06-26 23:47:50 +0000 UTCThanks for the help proofreading! And I wanted base Erind to be stronger so becoming Blanchette will be more special. Instead of just spamming Blanchette always.
Temple (REND)
2025-06-26 23:46:51 +0000 UTCStirring up a big mess is Erind's hobby XD
Temple (REND)
2025-06-26 23:44:32 +0000 UTCShe showed them the finger and wiggled it. -> Not the most common method of potentially leaving fingerprints behind... ... will evolve Erind into a criminal mastermind in the future. -> So, adumbrae Erind will be a major player in the underworld. If additionally, corebring Erind becomes a high overseer of the US proto-hive, that'd be a big mess waiting to happen.
No Name
2025-06-26 06:38:21 +0000 UTCI don't mind multiple POVs. However, you should be careful not to use them too often. RR readers like to see the MC grow, and POV chapters interrupt that progress, which people tend not to like.
Danger Mittens
2025-06-26 03:08:12 +0000 UTCI like this turn of events. New Erind seems a lot more powerful without her mask than old Erind. Also, a pair of typos in one paragraph: “Wha-what?” Overdrive didn’t know if he’d laugh. Tommy Gee, Biter, and Chewie laughed. Moogu just stared blankly. Overdrive thought that the girl would point to one of Teflon’s subordinates and plead to let Teflon go in return. "if he’d laugh" -> "if he laughed" Also, "plead to let Teflon go in return" should be "plead that they let Teflon go in return" - the verb "let" really needs a subject.
Flying Goat
2025-06-25 23:15:15 +0000 UTCI like erind as a criminal mastermind. I can't wait for her to go in circles with hero wannabee team trying to catch red hood later.
Danger Mittens
2025-06-25 22:20:08 +0000 UTCHaha, I totally adore her!) Thanks, you’re the best. One of the best characters in my life)
Lyre
2025-06-25 15:42:16 +0000 UTCPants? Shitted. Bladders? Emptied. Hotel? Trivago.
KanadianKitsune
2025-06-25 15:00:54 +0000 UTCTypos: That literally metallic dick couldn’t help but ruin Overdrive’s good time. -> That literal metallic dick couldn’t help but ruin Overdrive’s good time. ——— Chewie came in, bowing as a greeting, followed by a teenage boy wearing a red hoodie -> Erind keeps getting misgendered! Someone needs to teach these criminals some manners. As expected, Jim Ambrose made Overdrive his bitch, ordering him around to gather the warm bodies they played with in their arena. -> More lore. Last time, I think we only saw Rofirio kidnap people, but it didn't seem like he was keeping them alive for the arena. It was like the other people popped out of thin air lol. You all look like you’ve seen a monster. Oh, wait. That’s me.” She giggled. -> Erind needs to practice her evil villain laugh. Or I guess she could be a cute villain. The Adumbrae mentioned she wasn’t part of any group. Was it possible to gain her as an ally? She could be the ticket to escaping the bullshit sandwich that was Big Marcy and the Tea Party. It wouldn’t hurt to try… but it’d truly hurt if he made a mistake. -> Erind's going to have her own gang! I planned for Erind to get involved more in the criminal underground, so why not start now? -> I think this is a great start to that. I don't think it got developed in the last version except for Vanessa, but that was only one person. Also, this chapter and flow of events reinforce REND's tone of misunderstandings, shenanigans, and comedy, sprinkled with seriousness and violence. We have this set up now and will evolve Erind into a criminal mastermind in the future. -> I think the word for this would be like Dark Humor. And Erind can be both a criminal mastermind and a superhero! Thanks for the chapter!
OmniHumanist
2025-06-25 14:44:53 +0000 UTCThe pressure from getting stuck between the Big Marcy and the Tea Party was too much. Overdrive couldn’t function without the inhibitors. -> "the Big Marcy is kinda weird. Either remove "the" or change it to something like "the Mark brothers"
Klakkers
2025-06-25 14:36:42 +0000 UTCExcellent writing, good stuff!
Vaporus
2025-06-25 14:25:52 +0000 UTCErind the unintentional mastermind😊 This was clearly all part of her grand plan
TheHornedOne
2025-06-25 13:53:48 +0000 UTC