trip down memory lane (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤

hi y'all ♡♡ so grateful for my patrons who stayed a new month! happy august! welcome to my new patrons who joined. how is everyone doing so far?? right now, i'm currently writing this in my childhood bedroom. i'm back at my family's house due to an emergency and i'm going to be more active at home from now on.. so many memories are flooding back. i have been away from my family for a while now since after college focusing on my career. being back at home now feels different. it's been more cherished than ever before and i hilariously can't stop myself from crying all the time at home, but i am sharing the most beautiful new experiences with my family. i feel so many emotions. guilt. hope. fear. pure deep joy & gratitude. i'm guilty that i haven't deeply appreciated or spent enough time at home.. but rather have sought outside experiences or influences while growing up at home.

these photos i took in the year of 2015. half a decade ago. i was in my second year of college and just moved into my first apartment outside of the campus dorms with my hippie roommate who i sorta crushed on hehe. i remember one night she asked if she could kiss me and it was super sweet & cute and giggly. wow. i was in a completely whole different era of identity. college me was very confused and literally went crazy and tried everything lmao. i actually tried greek life (got kicked out of my sorority for being too badass), hung out with theatre majors mainly, brought my guitar to campus and wrote original songs sitting on the grass.. i would hang out in solitude mostly. i didn't know where i could fit in.. i never had a solidified group of friends to hang out with, but was able to get along with everyone and make friends in and out of classes easily. i definitely had a lot traumatic experiences happen during this time that made me go seek therapy. i was a part of toxic environments, abusive possessive people, and people who i thought i could trust that took advantage of me and my kindness. all these experiences turned me from a naive girl into a badass fighter and artist. because of those experiences, i have been inspired to write my first original songs that i published, and so much beautiful poetry. i will be writing a lot of poetry about my family experience right now. i've overcome and healed from a lot and was able to use my experiences to propel me forward creatively. you are looking at who i am before all those difficult situations that made me strong. i was such a free spirited, go with the flow, fuck it yolo type of person here LMFAO. which is SO not me anymore. i mean i am still the same energy at heart, but now smarter, more cautious, i make more calculated moves rather than impulsively, and i love & value myself waaay more now. I am way more protective of myself now. before in these photos, i was way more impressionable & naive... which led me down some really bad paths. i feel so grateful to have made it out alive to turn everything into a blessing.

thank you for reading my words. i hope you enjoy my art ♡ please support by giving this post a like/comment. i would love to hear from you all. how are things going on in your life? thank you again for your kind support!!  ♡  ♡ sending you all the love i'm feelin right now xoxo