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mycrookedvice

mycrookedvice

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Lifeguard on Duty

Lifeguard on Duty

"Come on now..." she purred. "No one's lookin'. Take it all off."

Sevira's voice was a sultry hum as she hugged the life preserver.

It was a sunny day at the S-Court, and the place was surprisingly empty for this time of year. Strange time to visit, sure... but she was never one to look a gift horse in the mouth, even if he wasn't her ideal companion.

She watched him strip ...

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Getting a Raise

Getting a Raise

*Special thanks to @BlackwolfLeon for commissioning me. Check out their profile, will ya? And, if you wanna see the timelapse for the latter part of this commission, click View Post

The Sundial

The Sundial

Unsure of how many of you got a look at the Trip reveal, but after I saw it, I didn't really like it. Decided instead to play with one for Noir-Mobius, and I really liked the idea.

Still fleshing her out since there's very little information to gather for her, but I'm sure she'll have some connection to the Hoodlums-- or at least one of them.

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Happy Patreversary to Me?

Happy Patreversary to Me?

Well, I got an email telling me that it's been exactly one year (I think) since I started hosting on this platform. I had  idea it kept track of that sort of thing, and I had no idea how to celebrate.

So then I got an idea. Why not do this color wheel thing, featuring all of the wonderful people supporting my hobby! I added some extra colors to make sure that everyone could get a pie...

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Summer's Over...

Summer's Over...

No story with this one. Just a little sad the warm weather's goin away.

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Mr. And Mrs. Good Guy

Mr. And Mrs. Good Guy

"Always a treat."

Chrysante's words were laced with a thin layer of sarcasm as he collected the pieces of his Redbug kit. Tucking his mascaras, eyeshadows, and false tattoos away, the civet shot a polite smile at the pink hedgehog before him, ignoring the uncomfortable churning in his gut as she offered payment for his last-minute expertise.

The sickly sweet scent of cinnamon suga...

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The Songoose

The Songoose

A warmup doodle, suggested by members of my Discord Server. This one features Noir-Mobius's Mina Mongoose, "Mezzo"

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Character Reference: Vance Hayze

Character Reference: Vance Hayze

The Intoxicologist finally gets his reference.

...And this one has a weiner in it.

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Moongazing with Tea

Moongazing with Tea

Milo felt the tears budding up in the creases of his eyes, and he attempted to cut off the misty sting by closing them.


It was his first time establishing contact with someone willing to hear him out.-- a Seasonal Priestess no less. It was the luckiest he'd been since embarking on Professor Cumber's expedition, and expecting another stroke like this one was expecting rain on th...

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Twiggy's August 2023 Doodledump

Twiggy's August 2023 Doodledump

Commissions opened this month, so there's a little less time available for full images. I hope you can enjoy a few of the doodles my server prompted outta me while I work on my queue <3

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Have you ever wondered?

Have you ever wondered?

Now you have your answer <3

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Commissions Opening Tomorrow

Offering a preliminary notice that commissions are opening publically tomorrow, August 16th at 12 pm EST.

As my lovely supporters, I'm happy to offer the opportunity to snag your spot earlier.

There are 3 slots remaining ♡

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The Best Things Happen in the Dark...

The Best Things Happen in the Dark...

From where he sat on the spread, Chrysante eyed his boyfriend curiously.

It wasn’t like him to be so apprehensive about initiating a conversation.

He was 'Crooked'.

He was the guy known to bait words like fishing hooks, and pull interaction out of thin air like a magician with a white rabbit.

He was THE provocateur--and on a typical day, Chrysante would have had no pro...

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Sunny Disposition

Sunny Disposition

A very special commission for a very special subscriber!

Thanks again Nate, for sticking with me!

Feel free to check out Nate's twitter account 

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Love Hurts

Love Hurts

"Shhh.... what if someone sees?"

"C'mon, no one's gonna come by here. It's gettin' dark. Trust me."

"You said that last time."

"Yeah, and? My partner's not gonna squeal. I told ya, I got it covered. Sides, he owes me one."

"One for what?"

"Shhhhhhhh, I thought you wanted to be quiet? Now, just relax. Close your eyes... let me just..."

"OW! Dexter!"
<...

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Twiggy's June 2023 DoodleDump

Twiggy's June 2023 DoodleDump

As some of you know, June was the month I decided to open commissions again! It's left me a little short on time for full pieces, but I was able to work on quite a few images in that time, both large and small.

Today's doodledump will only feature a few unfinished pieces since I want the reveal for the larger pieces to be something really special. I expect to have a few done in the comin...

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How I Wonder what You Are

How I Wonder what You Are

The water was warmer today...

Or rather it felt that way with the red blush tinting scaly maiden's cheeks. Everything felt warmer with Von around, and as Sakura loomed over her most trusted friend, she quietly pondered exactly how one so menacious could give her such happy, tingly feelings.

One look at Von was usually enough to unsettle most folk. His long, spindly tentac...

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The Face of a Loser

The Face of a Loser

Chrysante was always something of a braggart.

If he wasn't bragging about himself, he was bragging about a skill he possessed.... and if it wasn't about a talent, he was on about any number of collectibles he'd amassed throughout the years. He'd use any opportunity to show off to anyone who dared lend their attention.

Surprisingly enough, he never bragged about his sexual prowess...

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Spark of Madness

Spark of Madness

"Chryssie... he's chasing someone!"

"Shhhhh, shut up! Just gimme a moment to think will ya?"

The civet snapped back at the hamster in a voice shaken by both fear and irritation. They were short two teammates, and as it stood he and Cheeks were the only two working on getting the generators started.

Flair was taking this too far.

It was a mock game. Just a fun exerci...

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Not Quite Bliss

Not Quite Bliss

He'd been told it was called Bliss...

Or, rather that's what he was supposed to have received. Bliss was a muscle relaxant, a relatively benign black market drug used for what some called placation. It made one agreeable. Comfortable.

But that's not what Chrys has been given that night.

This intoxication was heavy on the body.  It left him feeling completely drained a...

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Just because...

Just because...

So according to my timeline, it's Hyena Day. First time I'm hearing of it, but of course the workaholic never takes a day off--even when it's literally FOR him.

Well, luckily I'm just the MOST awesome guy.

He's workin' late again, tidying up the place--so I figured, why not surprise the big fucker with a bit of relaxation. 

"Sit down, put your feet up, and take...

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420 Surprise

420 Surprise

Sabre stared at his new companion, a little bit breathless as those words slipped out of the albino's lazy grin. At this point, he wasn't sure if it was the smoke inhalation, or if he was just that shaken by what he'd heard. But as the glider's face drained of color, he could only imagine the hell he'd unleashed on one of his favorite holidays.

April 20th was always a fun day. 4/20 he wa...

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The Sweet Soiree's Annual Kissy Commisshy, 2023

The Sweet Soiree's Annual Kissy Commisshy, 2023

Spring has officially sprung, and as the Flickies flutter and flap around, Amelia and Dezra are hard at work preparing for the rosy hedgehog's annual festivities.

Last year was successful enough, with the pink one earning enough from the fundraiser to purchase a few new police scanners and security cameras for her secret affairs after hours. Business always boomed around this time of yea...

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Tundra and Flaira

Tundra and Flaira

A bit of info, offered by the owner of these lovely ladies <3:

Before, Tundra was just a singer who used her abilities to help out and fight the bad guys. 

Now, she's a fairly ruthless pirate who sails with her crew under their captain. She still loves to sing but doesn't do it as Tundra, instead using a disguise and alias called Black Diamond to do public perf...

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Afternoon All!

I try to make an effort to refrain from posting too much here about stuff that isn't art-related. I know that's not really what you guys are here for, so my apologies.

Just wanted to make sure that everyone is aware that billing has been paused for the next month, as I've been having some computer issues resulting in a loss of data and have been preoccupied retrieving it.

It goes wi...

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Eat at Dicks

Eat at Dicks

Despite boasting a freedom he hadn’t enjoyed since before his stay at Overland Correctional, Chrysante’s free agency had long since lost its luster.

For a while the gigs were numerous, and it was nice having something to occupy time while Vance worked. When Vance had free time, Chrys had it too and the quality time spent together was a great way to celebrate their new exclusivity. Ho...

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Delayed Doodledump

Delayed Doodledump

Spring has sprung.... or at least it feels like it. Little less time to draw with Valentine's commissions and gardening on the horizon, but I do hope you enjoy the little I have to offer after falling behind. 

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NIKI

NIKI

The Nanoelectronic Intranet for Knothole's Indemnification, or NIKI, is a private network created for the sole purpose of intercepting foreign technologies in cyberspace.

A highly advanced AI of the same name, the feline avatar generally executes commands and relays information given from Freedom Fighter elites. Due to the organization's covert nature, NIKI utilized biometric scans to i...

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Proof of Conquest

Proof of Conquest

Vance stared, gaze hard and unflinching down at the image plastered on the unblemished screen of Chrysante's newly repaired cell phone. He wasn't sure how long he'd been rifling through the device, but he found himself charmed by the many destinations his companion had experienced--unable to stop what some might have called snooping.

Typically, he cared very little for whatever shenaniga...

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Stage Select Adoptables

Stage Select Adoptables

First look at some adoptable character concepts created after a bit of reminiscing. As sponsors, I'm happy to give you a peek before posting to the general public. Each adoptable is going for 40$USD, but I'm happy to knock 10$USD off the price for any Patreon subscribers looking to offer first.

Feel free to pitch your thoughts on the designs should you have any. I'm very happy with all o...

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