Author Daecrist

Villains Don't Date Heroes! 84: Depression

I sighed as I checked on the log for this morning. It’s not like I was spying on Selena. Not exactly.

It was all about her health. At least that’s what I told myself. And her health wasn’t all that great ever since we watched two robots double teaming downtown Starlight City in a naughty rendition of Robot Does Downtown.

Okay, so maybe that wasn’t the best joke. Work with me...

Villains Don't Date Heroes! 83: Plot Interrupted

I stood. Brushed myself off. Looked at the mounting charge display for my shields with a great sigh of relief. A sense of relief that was interrupted by incoherent screaming.

“No, no, no, no, no!”

I looked up to see Dr. Lana hovering looking down at me with pure fury. Which was a nice look to be getting from her. It was good to know I could piss her off for a change.

“Wh...

How I Helped My Smokin' Hot Alien Girlfriend Conquer the Empire 82: Rescue Operations

"I thought you said the empress wasn't likely to try and attack."

"I said that it would be stupid for her to try and attack," Varis said, looking up and around.

I followed her gaze as well. There were a lot of signs of death and destruction all around us.

Okay, mostly it was destruction all around us, but I knew there had to be a lot of death that went along with that. Twisted...

Villains Don't Date Heroes! 82: Hero in Distress

I really needed to take out those robots, but I wasn’t going to be able to do anything without that control panel. If she was trying so desperately to keep it away from me that was a sure sign it was something I needed to end this fight.

Even if it looked like she couldn’t even end this fight with her own damn control panel.

Seriously. The woman was so bad at this it was a mirac...

Villains Don't Date Heroes! 81: Beatdown

I wasn’t going to let a giant robot psych me out. Installing some shutters that made the thing look like it was glowering at me wasn’t going to stop me. Especially when that was yet another idea Dr. Lana stole from me, damn it.

Okay. Maybe she technically stole that idea from CORVAC and his stupid giant robot, but still. I ate giant robots for breakfast and shit out the metal bits lat...

How I Helped My Smokin' Hot Alien Girlfriend Conquer the Empire 81: Disaster Area

I paused for a moment as the fighter craft finally set down. I looked up at the threat board, half expecting to see a volley of missiles coming our way.

But the threat board was green, or maybe it would be more accurate to say the threat board was sparkling blue. That was the default they used when they thought everything was just A-okay after all.

I wondered if that would've been d...

Villains Don't Date Heroes! 80: Rescue

I was going to kill her. Plain and simple.

Even when I’d been fighting Fialux for control of the city I’d never had the desire to actually kill and maim her. Dominate her? Yes…

That brought a blush to my cheeks as I thought about some of the many ways I’d dominated her since then, but the less said about that the better. This wasn’t that kind of story.

The point is I...

Villains Don't Date Heroes! 79: Argument

“Aren’t you going to do something?” she asked.

I stared. I tried to bite down on the spike of irritation that suddenly shot through me. It was difficult. I managed to talk through gritted teeth instead of biting her head off, but it was a close thing for a minute.

“Are you really accusing me of not doing something when I just saved your ass?” I said through those gritted t...

Villains Don't Date Heroes! 78: Back in the Saddle?

“…And I’m telling you this is a terrible idea,” I said as the world flashed white around me and Fialux and I materialized on top of a building near the edge of downtown.

The sounds were the first thing I noticed. They were always the first thing I noticed when I was moving into downtown to take on one of the many things that seemed to threaten Starlight City on a regular basis. 2025-06-07 13:15:14 +0000 UTC View Post

Villains Don't Date Heroes! 77: Home Video

This was perfect. Maybe I couldn’t show her footage of what our life had been like, but I could show her what happened on the day we finally and definitively fell for each other.

“What is this?” she asked.

“Order some breakfast, because boy do I have a show for you!” I said.

I pulled up the news recording of our exploits when we’d saved the city. The only time we�...

Villains Don't Date Heroes! 76: Proof

I gave Fialux a wide berth for the rest of that day into the next. Things got a little awkward after she realized she’d been crying on me for the better part of an hour.

They got even more awkward when she politely asked for some space, but I gave her that space. I figured she needed it.

I was pretty sure from the medical readouts that she was still having one hell of a cry in her...

Villains Don't Date Heroes! 75: Pain

She kept crying. I couldn’t think of anything to say. How did you console someone in a moment like this?

So I ran a hand through her hair. It was always so nice stroking her hair. It always felt so silky smooth. And it seemed like the touch was calming her down.

I’d never been sure if that perfect hair of hers was a result of how she shampooed and conditioned it, or if it was si...

How I Helped My Smokin' Hot Alien Girlfriend Conquer the Empire 80: Damage Report

We reached the hangar level and Varis took off at a sprint. Craft were taking off all around us and heading out of the shielding. I could actually see the shielding when I looked out over the city. Clearly they’d turned it up to 11 as a result of recent events.

There weren’t many craft coming back in.

I hoped that meant they were sending people out to take part in a rescue. Thou...

How I Helped My Smokin' Hot Alien Girlfriend Conquer the Empire 79: Explosivo

I’d seen nukes going off on a planet surface before. Only I’d been high in orbit when I was watching, which meant I was at something of a safe remove.

It didn’t feel anything like this. Back then I could imagine what was going on down on the ground. I’d seen videos from cities that’d been blown up on colony worlds. Seen the destruction coming in waves when a nuke hit a city that...

How I Helped My Smokin' Hot Alien Girlfriend Conquer the Empire 78: Dropping Bombs

It only took me a moment to get over my surprise. Then I turned a glare on Varis, and she took a step back. Probably because she could feel the annoyance pulsing through the link.

No, this went beyond annoyance. This was just straight up anger.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I asked.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said.

She was talking in a calm voice, but ...

Villains Don't Date Heroes! 74: Cry It Out

Fialux touched a hand to her head and squeezed her eyes shut.

“Temporary amnesia? But…”

I held a hand up, and for a wonder she actually shut up. That trick never worked when I tried it with her before she suffered from this temporary amnesia. It was almost enough to make me regret that she was going to be getting her memories back at some point, but what could you do?

�...

Villains Don't Date Heroes! 73: Memory Loss

Admittedly my reflexes weren’t all they could be. They weren’t nearly as good as they were when I was in my suit and I had hundreds of sensors and algorithms working to make me better, faster, stronger, but I was good enough to catch her before she hit the floor.

Not that there was much to worry about even if she did hit the floor considering everything in this room was designed to re...

How I Helped My Smokin' Hot Alien Girlfriend Conquer the Empire 77: Trial by Combat

Later that evening we were back up in the sparring room. She waved her hand and again the rows of swords appeared in front of us. I held my hand out, fully expecting one of the practice swords to come for me and worrying she was going to use real swords again.

But she turned to me and smiled.

“Nothing like that this time around.”

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

How I Helped My Smokin' Hot Alien Girlfriend Conquer the Empire 76: Crazy Terran

"Are you sure you want this house to come to the Grand Gathering?" Varis asked, staring at the big board.

It was a big board. Not the one I'd been working on in the VIP suite with Arvie. But it was a big board that bore more than a passing resemblance to the big board in that other room.

An entire floor of the upper tower had been given over to planning the Grand Gathering. There we...

Villains Don't Date Heroes! 72: Waking Up

I felt ridiculous carrying a tray into the room, but if I was going to go to the trouble of making breakfast in bed then I was going to go to the trouble of doing it right.

Even if the whole thing did make me feel like the help. Usually I had robots do this sort of work, but chalk that up to yet another thing in the lab that wasn’t working at one hundred percent thanks to my hobbled AI ...

Villains Don't Date Heroes! 71: Tinkering

I stepped into my tinkering lab and pulled out one of the strange weapons Dr. Lana had used on Fialux that fateful night I’d stepped in to rescue her.

It seemed fitting that the world’s greatest hero would find herself being rescued by the world’s greatest villain. Though of course she hadn’t seen it that way at the time.

It took a moment for the thing to get to me. I didn�...

Villains Don't Date Heroes! 70: Fixer Upper

There was a moment of hesitation from the medical computer. Which spoke volumes since that moment of hesitation on the part of a computer was the equivalent of an eternity for a mortal human whose mind ran at the speed of human thought.

Computers considered that to be one hell of a speed limit. I’d tried not to be too insulted whenever CORVAC brought that up. Or when he hit me with back...

Villains Don't Date Heroes! 69: Dangerous Treatment

“Medical bay 1 is prepped,” the computer said.

“Right. Thanks,” I muttered. “At least you can do something right.”

Of course the computer would think of prepping the medbay but it wouldn’t think of disabling the nasty surprises I had waiting in my dummy lab.

I really missed CORVAC and his ability to look at a situation and use some good old fashioned machine lear...