To kick off this survivor month, we're learning about D.A.R.V.O. - this is a tactic abusers employ in response to being called out for their behavior. It can be really difficult to point out, specifically for onlookers, and extremely painful for survivors as their abuser begins to invalidate their experiences and twist the truth to fit their own agenda.
A textbook example o...
2021-02-03 22:18:08 +0000 UTC View Post
Hey folks! This February is all about survivors.
This past June we watched a number of survivors come forward and break the silence about abuse and assault they've experienced, specifically by organizers. Yesterday, Evan Rachel Wood named her abuser. This ongoing outing of motherfuckers who hurt us continues and so do conversations about joy, rebuilding tru...
2021-02-03 00:41:09 +0000 UTC View Post
I’m writing this on Thanksgiving. What did you do this year?
For many of us, the holidays preface our annual pilgrimage back home. For better or worse, we gather with family and friends; cook and eat; and relax into nostalgia (even if the current state of affairs with our family is bleak). This year, some of us didn’t do our annual retreat – we remained isolated or perhaps celebrate...
2020-12-15 16:00:05 +0000 UTC View Post
I sat down with the wonderful Carnegie Velvet to chat about desirability, intersecting identities and Sex Work. Many of us navigating Sex Work are also balancing multiple identities - we chatted about what that looks like for them being Black, queer, disabled, etc. Alongside that, we discussed balancing desirability as both an inflexible structure of privilege and a flexible spectrum b...
2020-12-10 16:35:24 +0000 UTC View PostWhat happens when we use our victim identity to manipulate others?
This is the question I explored for this month’s bonus — this post is less of me providing answers and more of me exploring and interrogating a discussion, alongside side you. In all ways, I believe victims. As a victim, myself, I know how important it is to be affirmed and supported without hesitation...
2020-11-19 18:38:42 +0000 UTC View PostHey fuckers! Here are the questions I answered this month + resources!
1. Do u think our first sexual experiences shape what our kinks/turn-on's are? Do you have any thoughts about using kink to process sexual abuse?
This past month I gave three lectures to graduate and PhD-level counselors around competency and advocacy for Sex Workers. I’ve spent the majority of my career exclusively being in community with Sex Workers and those who explicitly support Sex Workers – I rarely engage with anti-SW people or people who are neutral around the subject of Sex Workers’ humanity. In my bubble, SW is awesome a...
2020-11-10 16:01:00 +0000 UTC View Post
An important conversation that we all need to have: what is emotional abuse?
So here, we are. A nice breakdown of what emotional/psychological abuse is, what it looks like and tips for getting away from those who use it on us.
Full video: https://bit.ly/2GdZU73
xoxo
Cre...
2020-10-30 21:09:40 +0000 UTC View Post
Ask me anything, for October! Leave questions in replies.
xoxo
2020-10-13 20:36:41 +0000 UTC View Post
So excited to share this live stream I did with @itsjujubae !! It was hella fucking insightful and Juju is awesome! We talked about how to practice sex magic, including the downsides and things to be careful of — because when you manifest, you might get what you ask fo...
2020-10-07 17:39:34 +0000 UTC View Post
I be dissociating out of existence sometimes skjikssisj so I thought this was something worth covering, especially because it's something I also encounter with therapy clients when attempting to process trauma! Dissociation is a coping mechanism for many of us -- and while it may no longer serve as the best coping skill, we can learn how it came into existence and how to better manage it!
This month we're talking about making friends!!
Link to audio: https://bit.ly/3jdp18k
xoxo
2020-09-27 19:14:52 +0000 UTC View Post
Circling back to the second white peen I encountered. No judgement zone.
Full video: https://bit.ly/3i1sF3M
2020-09-24 22:31:54 +0000 UTC View Post
Hey! Who do you love? Who’s your fav? Who do you want to see on my Patreon?! Leave their @ below and what you’d love to hear us talk about.
2020-09-24 00:54:00 +0000 UTC View PostYou want to be showered with gifts and treated like a goddess. How dare men look in your direction without adoration and cash. This is Sex Work praxis. Wanna know why it's not working in your dating life? Let's chat.
xoxo
2020-09-17 18:47:04 +0000 UTC View Post
Have you ever been in a debate, argument or conversation with someone and somehow you find yourself arguing a point you NEVER made? This is called a straw man fallacy -- it's fucking ANNOYING and manipulative. I encounter this a lot particularly when I talk to cishet men, which I'm tryna to decrease because there's no ponint, because they will do anything to make their...
2020-09-04 15:21:18 +0000 UTC View Post
Yall mf's keep on asking, so here we are. This is what I do to my skin!! Remember, it's really just genetics fr fr. Like, some of yall were blessed with no back fat and I was blessed with (mostly) blemish-free skin. We all got different shit, okay!
Anyway, since idk wtf I'm talking about I also commissioned everyone's fav esthetician, Nayamka Roberts-Smith aka 2020-09-02 20:52:07 +0000 UTC View Post
Ask me anything, for September! Leave questions in replies.
xoxo
2020-09-01 23:19:47 +0000 UTC View Post
hi, here's the story of the first time I ever had colonizer peen.
Requirements for watching this episode: take a shot every time I say cock
Full video: https://bit.ly/2YHCAVg
xoxo
2020-08-28 22:28:29 +0000 UTC View PostBeyoncé Co-opting OnlyFans Continues the Violence Against Sex Workers
May 21, 2020
Note: this was originally written by me to be published anonymously, however, shortly after the release of the song, the uprisings started which took precedent. I decided to post it here so it's not just sitting on my laptop, unread!
Over the past week we’ve watc...
2020-08-25 19:44:44 +0000 UTC View PostHey babies, here's the questions I answered this month:
1. How do you organize and schedule things like content creating, the editing process and posting?
2. Do you have any tips for processing a breakup/reflecting on the end of a relationship?
3. Any resources for finding progressive/sex-positive therapists?
xoxo
2020-08-18 18:25:24 +0000 UTC View PostHey folks, is there anything in particular you'd like me to cover in a live stream? Keep in mind it would need to be a topic I can talk about for 30 min - an hour. Or do you have any people you'd like me to bring on for a live stream collab?
Suggestions?
xoxo
2020-08-12 20:31:42 +0000 UTC View Post
TW// rape, sexual assault, substance use, therapy, victim blaming
Note: the themes I discuss in this piece are not overarching – they cannot be applied to all things. Rather, to use as questions and added context for scenarios that feel relevant for you.
What makes us vulnerable to harm?
I recently listened to a snippet of ...
2020-08-11 22:42:14 +0000 UTC View Post
Full video here: https://bit.ly/30FDhQf
For July's live stream I spoke with Leah, a holistic healer, about debunking #CoochieChakra Twitter! We covered:
1. Divine Femininity - what is it / how it's weapon...
2020-08-09 19:13:19 +0000 UTC View Post
Ask me anything, for August! Leave questions in replies.
xoxo
2020-08-03 00:17:57 +0000 UTC View Post
Time to relive some '15 Miami shenanigans — when I first moved to Miami I was super lonely and horny and would often go to south beach to fuck random tourists lmfaoo So this night I took 9 niggas home. LET'S GOOOOOO
Full video: https://bit.ly/3hX598x
2020-07-31 03:10:32 +0000 UTC View Post
Discussions about consent are always "no means no" and "yes means yes" ...and while that's true it's the basics. It's the first step. But it doesn't capture the nuance of consent, coercion, violations, harm, regret, etc. How many of us have been nagged into sex. Or felt obligated. Or felt sex is what we're "supposed" to do. Or even got drunk and consent but later realized it wasn't what we woul...
2020-07-28 23:04:34 +0000 UTC View Post
I sat down with everyone's favorite sex work-supporting, colonizer house mom skjiiskjkisjisjsjsi
I talk (and post) a lot about my mom which has prompted lots of questions about our relationship. So we answered some questions and had a raw ass conversation about my upbringing, white women raising Black kids, sex work & whorephobia and parenting. TW// simply because this conversat...
2020-07-23 22:51:53 +0000 UTC View PostThis month, I answer the following questions:
1. How can I divest from the patriarchy and build community w/o cishet men?
2. I’m 21 but I haven’t experienced romantic love or intimacy with a man yet. I would like to meet queer men or men in radical spaces - do you think that’s possible and where do I find that community?
3. How do I stop being nervous around ...
2020-07-22 00:24:57 +0000 UTC View Post
I want to start this piece with a very clear message that I do not wish to drag or humiliate @sexwithashley and I absolutely discourage you from doing either of those things. Rather, I would like to use our public exchange and this piece as a teachable moment and mirror – to encourage you to reflect on how you’ve been harmful in your life, even as a marginalized person...
2020-07-14 18:04:59 +0000 UTC View Post