Ancilla L

I Know What You Want To Do To Me.

Time moves too quickly when you hit me, but it only distorts my sight. It looks like a haze, as if with the shaking of a callous peruser, the world has been suspended into rapid chaos, but it feels like motionless eternity, as if we were frozen as we danced on the tip of a needle and encased to be placed on a mantle, suspended in antifreeze, forever.

This is our snow-globe of viol...

Q&A On Consensual Non-Consent

The following are the questions addressed:

Lots of people believe CNC should have a safeword. That makes me wonder what differentiates it from a regular play session. Also, if and when you indulge in CNC with someone other than Mancilla (my dominant partner), do you have a safeword? 

.

Can CNC be safely explored in casual dynamics or is it better suited for long-term dyna...

Class Upload: Building A Power-Exchange Dynamic.

Hi all.

This is the recorded version of the class I taught on building a power-exchange dynamic.

PFA:

• A downloadable audio file of me teaching the class.

• The power-point presentation I used to teach the class.

• The reading notes for the class.

If you enjoy this class, please consider leaving a2024-11-18 08:17:17 +0000 UTC View Post

Upcoming Class: Building A Power-Exchange Dynamic.

Hello everyone!

The following is the information to join tomorrow's class live (please note the timing is listed in IST: India Standard Time):

Class: Building A Power Exchange Dynamic

Sunday, Nov 17 • 12:00 – 14:00

Google Meet joining info

Video call link: https://meet.google.com/fx...

Class Recording: Q&A Masochism And Pain Play

This is the class recording for the recently conducted Q&A on Masochism and Pain-Play. Please find attached, the following:

• The audio recording of all the questions being addressed.

• A word document with the list of questions.

For The Love Of Shame.

I am so ashamed of my pleasure.

Not all kinds of pleasure. I'm certainly carrying no shame about pleasure from pain, I don't have any qualms about being into control, fear or knives. You won't catch me expressing any regret about spending a week in a basement or a month in a state of neglect, I will go wherever I need to go to chase my pleasure, and I'll do it with t...

Upcoming Free Class: Live Q&A on Masochism and Pain-Play.

This is the information for the upcoming (free to attend) Live Q&A for Masochism and Pain-Play that is scheduled for 9 November 2024. The following is the information to join the class:

Live Q&A: Masochism and Pain-Play

Saturday, Nov 9 • 18:00 – 20:00

Google Meet joining info

Video call link: 2024-11-07 09:16:05 +0000 UTC View Post

Podcast E85: I Found The Cure To Imposter Syndrome. Maybe.

Probably not.

What Happens If You Call It Roleplaying?

In observing a conversation between two parties about the roles people take in kink and power-exchange relationships, I noticed, once again, a phenomenon that reoccurs with some frequency. One party insisted that what they did as a slave was not roleplaying, it is much deeper than that, and the other party insisted that if you have the ability to not live your entire life ...

Love Is About Luck And Courage.

“You are just very lucky,” she said to me, “Not everyone in the world is as lucky as you when it comes to love.”

I don’t disagree. I am not one of those people who takes offense at the idea that love takes a little bit of luck, especially if one’s version of love is esoteric and involves an alternative lifestyle. I truly believe there is some degree of magic to the fact that m...

Class Upload: Erotic Expressionism

Hi all!

This is the full-upload for the Erotic Expressionism class. Please find attached:

• The full audio recording of the class being taught

• The presentation

• The reading notes.

• For everyone who attended live, thank you for coming! If you enjoy this class—recorded, online or live— please do leave a review for it...

  2024-10-19 14:29:08 +0000 UTC View Post

Upcoming Class: Erotic Expressionism

Hi;This is the post for the upcoming Erotic Expressionism class taking place on Saturday. The following is the class link (the time listed below is in Indian Standard Time):

Erotic Expressionism

Saturday, Oct 19 • 18:00 – 20:00

Google Meet joining info

Video call link: https://meet.google.co...

The Distortion Of Time.

I don't know if I will be afforded a future,

Or see the structures of tomorrow unfold,

if I will ever read through my life and yours,

like faded stories already written and told.

Perhaps the soul can scry the chilling panic,

of loss already etched into my aching gaze,

of the warm fear of never getting to revisit,

every unseen ...

Podcast E84: Modern Love, an untimely review.

I talk about the political potential of love, but first I talk about how much I love Modern Love, the column, not the podcast, shows and movie.

Class Upload: Finding The Fabric Of Your Masochism

Hello everyone!

This is the upload of the full-class. In the attachments you will find:

• A file containing the recorded audio of me teaching the class.

• A file with a powerpoint presentation of the class.

• A file with the reading notes.
  

For optimal consumption I would suggest that you open up the ppt and play the audio simultan...

Parenting and Comprehensive Sexual Education.

This is the story of Sreeni. Sreeni spent fifteen-years in a deeply oppressive marriage with a patriarchal man with whom she also had two-children. Around the time that she was forty, and the kids were eleven and fourteen, Sreeni decided to leave this marriage. After she left, she started to pursue sadomasochism, polyamory and power-exchange like she had always wanted to, and as is custo...

Upcoming Class Details: Finding The Fabric of Your Masochism.

Hello all.

This update is for members who have paid for the single class of Finding The Fabric of Your Masochism or subscribe to the "Cheerleader" tier or above. You can join the live online class on Sunday, the details are as follows:

Finding The Fabric of Your Masochism

Sunday, Oct 6 • 17:00 – 19:00

Google Meet joining info

Video call link: ...

The Relationship HighCast: It's Also A Game!

I made up a very basic relationship game but hear me out, please! It's a game where your partner makes a list of ten questions (about themselves) that they think you wouldn't be able to answer, and then you attempt to answer them. I played the game with @MAncilla, the podcast I am posting is my questions and he is attempting to answer them.

The Relationship HighCast: It's a game!

I made up a very basic relationship game but hear me out, please! It's a game where your partner makes a list of ten questions (about themselves) that they think you wouldn't be able to answer, and then you attempt to answer them. I played the game with @MAncilla, the podcast I am posting are his questions and I am answering attempting to answer. 

Dildos Aren't Here To Replace You!

He posted a picture of himself fucking my cunt with a dildo and it didn’t take very long for the inevitable, insecure and hateful comment that is painfully common to show up:

“*Does your own dick not work that you have to fuck her with a dildo?*”

Ugh.

We get variations of these—on pictures, in inboxes, in person—and it’s always surprising. Some...

Podcast Series: Abuse: Relationships As A Person Who has Been Abused (Part 1)

Schedule For Live Online Classes.

Hello all!

I have launched an online platform for classes. If you support me at the $9 tier or above, you will now be able to access all my live online classes as part of what you pay for. I will post the class-link to each class a day prior to the event for you to join. If you are unable to join live, I will also be sharing audio recordings of the class, the presentation used to teach as...

The Relatioship HighCast: Social Media and Relationships.

What is the public image of your relationship? Does it need to exist?

Podcast E83: How Healthy Do You Have To Be To Kink Anyway?

What does it mean to be healthy enough to be kinky?

Age Is Just A Number And Maybe That Number Means Something To Me?

A couple of months ago, I had a strange experience when a 22-year-old hit on me and expressed an interest in dating. That wasn’t the strange experience, it was my response that caught me by surprise. I could not bring myself to even process the proposition because they felt way too young for me, I could not even look at this person in evaluation of my attraction to them because their age made...

Souvenir.

"So did you bring them?" I asked her as I sipped her iced tea.

She'd just added two spoonfuls of sugar to the mix after claiming no one in the world understood sweet things should be *really* sweet. I took a sip and immediately I wanted to throw up from that overwhelming sensation of feeling like you are drinking sugar syrup.

"I did bring them," she said taking her t...

Podcast Series: Abuse: The Representation of Abuse

This is a patron-exclusive podcast series looking into various facets, commonly asked questions and trends associated with abuse.

Podcast Series: Abuse: Why Did You Not Leave?

This is a patron-exclusive podcast series looking into various facets, commonly asked questions and trends associated with abuse.

I Killed Lolita.

When I was with him, I made it my sole purpose to understand him. It felt like only I could do so and the world wouldn’t understand either one of us, anyway. The world saw me as a child when it was convenient to them, when my attempts at asserting myself and my autonomy interfered with their ideology, I was a child then, but when they needed me to lie for them, cover for them or hide their si...

The Relationship HighCast: The Social Life of Partners