Thank you to everyone who has been so patient waiting for my caregiver to get back… her pregnancy went all right but her baby has trouble breathing so he is on oxygen 24 seven. I can't see her coming back full-time, but I'm going to ask her this week if she wants to come over on the weekend to help me with some photo shoots!
I know some of you were requesting to see my backside, Believe...
2023-03-22 05:07:16 +0000 UTC View PostI want to hold the hand inside you
But I also want to be fucked every day.
I picture you leaning above me
Your shoulders almost subconsciously broadening from the power I'm giving you
Because all of my power is gone, and I'm weak
I am a little candle melting into nothing by some fierce flame and I am in love with the heat.
I'm in love with you, but the way I ...
2023-03-22 04:50:46 +0000 UTC View Post
It's been such a big week for me. I can't discuss everything, but a lot of what happened this week has to do with deciding my future. For the sake of everyone, I really hope it turns out OK. For now, I'm so tired…
e
2023-03-16 04:31:06 +0000 UTC View Post
Something really BIG happened this week. It involved at me talking for about five hours basically getting interviewed. I'll be able to share more later. It makes me a little more excited about my future.
2023-03-16 04:27:55 +0000 UTC View Post
You opened 1 million doors,
All I can say is that I adore you
///
I'm getting deposed on Monday and Tuesday, and I'm terrified that I'm going to just break down right in the middle of it. Talking about my accident and injury is so emotionally painful. Trying to distract myself on the weekend and make sure I eat enough because I know that those two days my appetite is g...
2023-03-11 06:21:23 +0000 UTC View Post
Finally somebody who understands what I need in a massage! Bonus, he's a Reiki practitioner as well and does intraoral massage… which I am definitely going to want because I have massive TMJ from stress and trauma.
2023-03-10 19:20:43 +0000 UTC View Post
Here's me singing bellyache and freak.
:D
Also a little update on my caregiver who usually helps me with my erotic Photoshoot which have definitely lessened and taken away subscribers in the process, which I apologize for but it's kind of out of my hands. Anyway, she had her baby and turns out he has a hole in his heart. He's at Children's Hospital on oxygen constantly and they will be...
2023-03-07 05:22:23 +0000 UTC View Post
Denver, I'll be very glad when I say goodbye
2023-03-05 05:49:09 +0000 UTC View Post
… and look out for the people who park on the white lines lol…
Lana's new song has me dying to do a sexy photo shoot listening to her new album. Where art thou, oh brave photographer?
…” I'm the sweetest dumb thing you ever saw… Easily suddenly you don't know me at all… easily three years later and now you want to call… easily eeee “6 Grimes
The truth is, unless I'm on my period, I ain't got no panties on. So stop turning me on please.
(just kidding, except the no panties rule it's true)…
And it's really not fair or useful being this wet all t...
2023-02-26 05:23:28 +0000 UTC View Post
Finally!!!
From polyamory, to nonalcoholic wine, to how I feel about using plant medicine instead of or along with therapy… hopefully somewhere along the way this is educational or somewhat interesting or amusing.
Happy,
e
2023-02-23 04:23:26 +0000 UTC View Post
Thanks to all my scandalous folks who are being patient with me while my explicit content is slower than usual. My caregiver who helps me with those photo shoots and videos will be back soon!! In the meantime I'll be as naughty as I can without scaring off the new ones…
My body feels so much better now that I have weekend care and the two new girls are so nice about helping me with rang...
2023-02-20 05:16:25 +0000 UTC View PostHe holds me like I mean something without me doing anything.
I feel the only kind of peace I feel when I am held by a valley looking out on the waves.
Words are like encrypted hieroglyphs on the pyramids
We don't even try to make sense of them now, all we do is marvel.
I know that he's just here to play with me
But I can imagine that my name meanS ...
2023-02-17 05:55:53 +0000 UTC View Post
I've been told by other people who use ventilators that if I continue to sing I might lose my voice, but I feel like it's the opposite: it seems to strengthen my voice. And, it's my cheapest therapy option. Music makes everything better;)
Big thank you and welcome to all my recently subscribed patrons! You all keep my little heart a float.
Love,
e.
There's a place I go in my dreams where I am in no pain
Movement is effortless and there is no shame
Love feels like the sun
Not a dangerous game
And when I wake up, I'm sad to be awake. There's a kind of loss that's so hard to explain.
I know I should be doing, being, becoming, but the panic attacks get worse when I try to get better. I feel like a stranger in the...
2023-02-15 04:58:59 +0000 UTC View Post
I don't promote self harm, but I keep thinking about piercing my nipples. I've had a weird weekend filled with pleasure, depression, and straight up exhaustion, and I wonder if when people do self harm it's in an attempt to transfer their mental pain into physical pain. I don't feel that much on my boobs anyway, so… because of all the distraction over the weekend I did not Record the audio ep...
2023-02-13 05:02:42 +0000 UTC View PostI used to stand in the river where the pyrite glistened like gold
California girl with unwashed mane
Tangled in the sun.
Careless with all the love I got to hold
Never paying heed to anyone.
Trauma blocks the neural pathways leading me
Back to that afternoon, daughter of July
I'm paralyzed fighting to remember you
And the sound of the water ...
2023-02-13 03:51:52 +0000 UTC View Post
… this coming Monday I've decided to message my doctor about trying out a certain anti-anxiety/depression med. One of my caregiver is recommended it, it's not a typical one so I figure well at least try it out.
I can't exactly act on my suicidal thoughts, but the voices in my head have become so strong I feel like I am going to self sabotage in one way or another, and at the very least ...
2023-02-12 05:19:10 +0000 UTC View Post
… I push you out and you come right back…
Don't see a point in blaming…
If I were you, I'd do me…
2023-02-10 05:21:38 +0000 UTC View Post
My lawyer says I can't tell the whole story yet. But when I do, you can be sure that every fucking detail Will be aired out to dry.
Done being a warrior princess for a while, I have retired and become a Kawaii angel. My nervous system is so accustomed to trauma and defending itself, I have to remind myself that I'm not in fight or flight mode anymore. I'm safe. Everything is going to be O...
2023-02-10 05:04:48 +0000 UTC View Post
Some of my favorite sassy songs…
The past week has not been easy, because my caregiver had a beautiful baby so I don't have a weekend caregiver for a couple weeks while we train some new girls! The fact that there are new people wanting to work as a is a fucking miracle.
My body just gets really sore when I don't get stretched and when my parents are taking care of me on Sunday I'm u...
2023-02-08 06:14:55 +0000 UTC View Post
Will somebody please just fucking HOLD me?
Not just anybody.* SIGHS*
Why am I always so goddamn emotional when I start catching feels.
:) here is my wish list for those of you who are asking!
I guess my birthday is kind of coming up… March 21 … and then Valentine's Day, which is my favorite because even if I'm not with anybody it's such a brilliant excuse to get people flowers and chocolate. Why can't every holiday be like that??
2023-01-29 22:23:53 +0000 UTC View Post
Every time someone says happiness is an inside job, this is where my mind goes…
I'm listening to Donovan while I upload these. Who are some of your favorite musical artists??
I'm a sucker for older guitarists.
Your very own
Disabled sex doll.
You're welcome.
e
